It's Almost Xmas

It's almost Christmas time! Or, Hanukkah or Kwanzaa.. and for some people nothing at all. That's ok too. To be perfectly honest, I am a bit of a xmas scrooge. I always have been. I think xmas has been commercialized, dramatized, and blown way out of proportion these days. It just plain annoys me sometimes. I think Xmas should be about spending time with the people that you care about most in the world, and yes... if you choose to give gifts that's cool too, but that shouldn't be all that this season is about.
Loved the Christmas Episode!

It's about being thankful for what you do have. There are so many little kids that still believe in Santa Claus who are living in horrid conditions because their parents can't find a job, can't afford to buy them toys, and the saddest of all... they might not be able to have a nice xmas dinner like the rest of us can. When I did go to church, and that was many years ago... trust me... I would donate to the Toys for Tots program. We would all pick a family/child out of a hat, and then buy them a really nice gift so they can have a great xmas.

Nowadays, I want to spend time at soup kitchens feeding the homeless, and/or find some charity to donate to. When it gets a little closer to the 25th, (if I get around to it) I'll post some charities that I would like to donate to, in hopes that maybe my readers will as well. That's what the true xmas spirit is, selflessness giving of yourself to others that are less fortunate than you are. Because we all need to remember, no matter how hard your life is, whatever it is that you may be going through, there is always someone somewhere out there, that has it way worse than you do. I am a complainer myself, but it's important to think about that sometimes.

Just food for thought I suppose.

On a random side note: I hate this cold weather and I long for the sweet ways of summer, I am slowly, shall I repeat it again? very slowly getting over a crappy sinus infection. One day I shall be normal one day. I will probably have to be on allergy medications for the remainder of my life, but I am willing to take that risk so I don't have to suffer like this 2-4 times out of the year.

I'm on a new vasodilator medication. :) Therefore, my hands and feet don't freeze, cause me pain, or go numb like they usually do in the winter. The only risk is.. this medication has been known to drop blood pressure. So if I randomly collapse/faint, I'll probably have to stop taking it. I really hope that doesn't happen. For serious.

My xmas shopping is all done, and I am excited to give my gifts to the people I care about most. :D Everyone kept on asking me what I want for this holiday, and I never know what I want. Money? An apartment? A puppy? Haha, whatever... I will be happy with whatever I get. I'm not a picky person like that.

Maybe I lied just a little. What I want most in the world. Is to bring the people that I've lost.. back for just this holiday.... just this one day.. to tell them how much I love them and miss them. And, just to talk. I miss their voices. So, so.... very much.

In conclusion, be thankful for what you have folks.... yes, yes... we always want more... hell, who doesn't? But, always remember.... those people out there with nothing this holiday season... maybe that will change everyone's minds.

MERRY HAPPY CHRISMAHANUKWANZAA EVERYONE!!!!

And, last... but certainly not least.. an early Happy New Year! I'll probably blog again then..... see you all next year!

It's Almost Xmas

It's almost Christmas time! Or, Hanukkah or Kwanzaa.. and for some people nothing at all. That's ok too. To be perfectly honest, I am a bit of a xmas scrooge. I always have been. I think xmas has been commercialized, dramatized, and blown way out of proportion these days. It just plain annoys me sometimes. I think Xmas should be about spending time with the people that you care about most in the world, and yes... if you choose to give gifts that's cool too, but that shouldn't be all that this season is about.
Loved the Christmas Episode!

It's about being thankful for what you do have. There are so many little kids that still believe in Santa Claus who are living in horrid conditions because their parents can't find a job, can't afford to buy them toys, and the saddest of all... they might not be able to have a nice xmas dinner like the rest of us can. When I did go to church, and that was many years ago... trust me... I would donate to the Toys for Tots program. We would all pick a family/child out of a hat, and then buy them a really nice gift so they can have a great xmas.

Nowadays, I want to spend time at soup kitchens feeding the homeless, and/or find some charity to donate to. When it gets a little closer to the 25th, (if I get around to it) I'll post some charities that I would like to donate to, in hopes that maybe my readers will as well. That's what the true xmas spirit is, selflessness giving of yourself to others that are less fortunate than you are. Because we all need to remember, no matter how hard your life is, whatever it is that you may be going through, there is always someone somewhere out there, that has it way worse than you do. I am a complainer myself, but it's important to think about that sometimes.

Just food for thought I suppose.

On a random side note: I hate this cold weather and I long for the sweet ways of summer, I am slowly, shall I repeat it again? very slowly getting over a crappy sinus infection. One day I shall be normal one day. I will probably have to be on allergy medications for the remainder of my life, but I am willing to take that risk so I don't have to suffer like this 2-4 times out of the year.

I'm on a new vasodilator medication. :) Therefore, my hands and feet don't freeze, cause me pain, or go numb like they usually do in the winter. The only risk is.. this medication has been known to drop blood pressure. So if I randomly collapse/faint, I'll probably have to stop taking it. I really hope that doesn't happen. For serious.

My xmas shopping is all done, and I am excited to give my gifts to the people I care about most. :D Everyone kept on asking me what I want for this holiday, and I never know what I want. Money? An apartment? A puppy? Haha, whatever... I will be happy with whatever I get. I'm not a picky person like that.

Maybe I lied just a little. What I want most in the world. Is to bring the people that I've lost.. back for just this holiday.... just this one day.. to tell them how much I love them and miss them. And, just to talk. I miss their voices. So, so.... very much.

In conclusion, be thankful for what you have folks.... yes, yes... we always want more... hell, who doesn't? But, always remember.... those people out there with nothing this holiday season... maybe that will change everyone's minds.

MERRY HAPPY CHRISMAHANUKWANZAA EVERYONE!!!!

And, last... but certainly not least.. an early Happy New Year! I'll probably blog again then..... see you all next year!

Fall is here

(my mom's tasty dessert)
( the stunning city at night. They wouldn't let you stand near the glass and take photos, sadly)
(my wonderful family at dinner. :) As usual, I have no idea what I am laughing at in this picture... I think a table near us said something funny...)

Well. Last weekend was very bittersweet on all accounts. My family and I visited the cemetery and each of us placed a rose on my dad's headstone. I was ever so thankful I took off work that day. There is no way I would have been up for cutting meat and cheese for complete strangers. I just wanted to be left alone. I wanted to be left to mourn, at least for a little while, until the pain became too strong and I bury it... like I do everything else.

That evening though, definitely got better. We took my Mom to The Signature Room in downtown Chicago. She had been there before, but my sister, aunt, and myself haven't. It was a beautiful restaurant. Gorgeous view of the city at night. Literally the lights sparkled like diamonds... littering the sky with effervescent beauty. I have never seen anything so wonderful in all my life. The food was exquisite. I basically snarfed down my pork tenderloin wrapped in tasty, tasty, bacon. Mmmmm. Sadly we had to celebrate my mom's birthday a day early because I had to close the day of her birthday at Mariano's. I figured if I took two days off that wouldn't make me look very good. I wanted to, but went against it. Then, later that evening I hung out with Dan. :D And, he made me feel better by being his awesome encouraging self and giving me lots of hugs. Which is just what I needed that night. :D Thank you hun.

The following day, all halo's eve.. I was beyond pumped to wear my sexy nun outfit and go out for a night on the town with my boyfriend and a couple of friends. Well, my plans were completely ruined. All due to poor planning on my part and to be quite honest... work was another major culprit. Because many people make up excuses to not close at the deli, the few hard workers (like myself) who actually need the money are forced to stay and help out. I had to stay a little later that night because people started leaving to go out for Halloween. That really sucked. I bought a birthday cake for my mom, which she loved... it was very yummy by the way.... that happened later than expected.. I got to Dan's place later than expected, another unexpected incident occurred that was unexpected... and then my friends were too far away for us to even attempt meeting up with them. We were both so pissed that Halloween was ruined. :( We stayed in played some video games and then hit the sack. Not how we imagined it, but its how life goes I suppose. Sigh.

On a different note, I have been working two jobs as of late.. I don't know if I mentioned that recently in my last post. But, I really like being a part of State Farm. I think I can learn alot from my boss, coworkers, and the company in general. The skills I will obtain with this position will probably help me out with other aspects in real life as well. The atmosphere is a very professional and comfortable one. For once, I actually feel respected and needed in a position. I feel like my input actually matters and I'm not just a 'body' occupying space anymore. It's a very nice feeling. Soon, I will move up to full time, and I can't wait to see what will happen from there. :D

My body is sore tonight. Sore from the slicers, and my feet ache from being on my feet at the deli. Working with food is certainly a hassle, but I have to do what I have to do, right? Just gotta suck it up and move on. With either aspirin or wine. Don't worry, I don't mix the two.


Now, for some photos I will randomly upload here. Enjoy... and, I hope everyone had a lovely Halloween.

Fall is here

(my mom's tasty dessert)
( the stunning city at night. They wouldn't let you stand near the glass and take photos, sadly)
(my wonderful family at dinner. :) As usual, I have no idea what I am laughing at in this picture... I think a table near us said something funny...)

Well. Last weekend was very bittersweet on all accounts. My family and I visited the cemetery and each of us placed a rose on my dad's headstone. I was ever so thankful I took off work that day. There is no way I would have been up for cutting meat and cheese for complete strangers. I just wanted to be left alone. I wanted to be left to mourn, at least for a little while, until the pain became too strong and I bury it... like I do everything else.

That evening though, definitely got better. We took my Mom to The Signature Room in downtown Chicago. She had been there before, but my sister, aunt, and myself haven't. It was a beautiful restaurant. Gorgeous view of the city at night. Literally the lights sparkled like diamonds... littering the sky with effervescent beauty. I have never seen anything so wonderful in all my life. The food was exquisite. I basically snarfed down my pork tenderloin wrapped in tasty, tasty, bacon. Mmmmm. Sadly we had to celebrate my mom's birthday a day early because I had to close the day of her birthday at Mariano's. I figured if I took two days off that wouldn't make me look very good. I wanted to, but went against it. Then, later that evening I hung out with Dan. :D And, he made me feel better by being his awesome encouraging self and giving me lots of hugs. Which is just what I needed that night. :D Thank you hun.

The following day, all halo's eve.. I was beyond pumped to wear my sexy nun outfit and go out for a night on the town with my boyfriend and a couple of friends. Well, my plans were completely ruined. All due to poor planning on my part and to be quite honest... work was another major culprit. Because many people make up excuses to not close at the deli, the few hard workers (like myself) who actually need the money are forced to stay and help out. I had to stay a little later that night because people started leaving to go out for Halloween. That really sucked. I bought a birthday cake for my mom, which she loved... it was very yummy by the way.... that happened later than expected.. I got to Dan's place later than expected, another unexpected incident occurred that was unexpected... and then my friends were too far away for us to even attempt meeting up with them. We were both so pissed that Halloween was ruined. :( We stayed in played some video games and then hit the sack. Not how we imagined it, but its how life goes I suppose. Sigh.

On a different note, I have been working two jobs as of late.. I don't know if I mentioned that recently in my last post. But, I really like being a part of State Farm. I think I can learn alot from my boss, coworkers, and the company in general. The skills I will obtain with this position will probably help me out with other aspects in real life as well. The atmosphere is a very professional and comfortable one. For once, I actually feel respected and needed in a position. I feel like my input actually matters and I'm not just a 'body' occupying space anymore. It's a very nice feeling. Soon, I will move up to full time, and I can't wait to see what will happen from there. :D

My body is sore tonight. Sore from the slicers, and my feet ache from being on my feet at the deli. Working with food is certainly a hassle, but I have to do what I have to do, right? Just gotta suck it up and move on. With either aspirin or wine. Don't worry, I don't mix the two.


Now, for some photos I will randomly upload here. Enjoy... and, I hope everyone had a lovely Halloween.

Warm October

I am simply loving this warm front this fall. I hope it stays like this all year long. I do not long for winter. I do not long for the cold, harsh, wind that will freeze my cheeks and nose.. I do not long for sinus infections and depression and snow. I long for the hot, breezy, days like today. Days that make me actually feel thankful for the things and people I have in my life right now. Also, days like today.. just make me thankful to be alive. And lets face it folks, I am not as thankful for my life as I should be.

I am actually getting over a sinus infection as I type this. I was completely miserable last week.. and this weekend. I still woke up every day and went to work because let's face it, I need the money. I am still pretty nasal and tired, but I am not as achy as before. It's on its way out, just probably a few more days and I will be back to 100% again.

Dan brought me soup over the weekend. :D I thought that was such a sweet idea. I was not feeling well at all, and seeing him definitely made me feel better. Plus, the soup was quite tasty and it always does the body good. If I didn't say it enough before... Thank you again! :)

What else can I report upon? I saw my awesome ladies this weekend. Clarissa, Sara, and Emily. Sara and Emily both live out of state now, so anytime they are in town.. I tend to monopolize them... tell everyone else I am quite on the busy side. I have known these ladies for most of my life, and I plan on knowing them for the rest of it. That's why its wonderful to see them, even if its only for a few hours at the very least. Sara is engaged and planning out her lovely May wedding sometime in 2012 I want to say. Sometimes I forget, because I'm like that. I'm very excited to be a part of the wedding party.. and of course excited for her as well. I like seeing my friends happy, because in this life... every happiness no matter how small or how big counts for something.

I am a deli girl now. That's right, chuckle if you will. This college grad serves the masses with slices of tasty meat and cheese, cut and ground to your liking. So, stop by and visit me every once in awhile, familiar faces will probably make the day go by that much faster.

I also volunteer for The Buddy Foundation. I love it. :) I am currently working with the most adorable cats/kitties at this no kill animal shelter. I play with them, and socialize them so they interact better with humans, and have a better chance of going home with a nice family.
Here are my fave babies: pictured on top: Squash, then Maverick, and last, but certainly not least.. my little girl Simone. :) I love them all, and wish I could take them home with me. But, alas... I cannot. :(

Whenever I get my life together and move out of my childhood home, I will have pets. Probably dogs and cats. Hopefully.

I guess that's all I have to say for now. I work, I apply to jobs, I volunteer, and I spend time with my family, friends, and boyfriend who all mean so much to me. Life is getting better day by day. I don't know how I am going to handle the year anniversary of my Dad's death this month. But, we all know I'll probably blog about that experience later.

Right now, I'm trying to stay happy. A battle well worth fighting for.

Warm October

I am simply loving this warm front this fall. I hope it stays like this all year long. I do not long for winter. I do not long for the cold, harsh, wind that will freeze my cheeks and nose.. I do not long for sinus infections and depression and snow. I long for the hot, breezy, days like today. Days that make me actually feel thankful for the things and people I have in my life right now. Also, days like today.. just make me thankful to be alive. And lets face it folks, I am not as thankful for my life as I should be.

I am actually getting over a sinus infection as I type this. I was completely miserable last week.. and this weekend. I still woke up every day and went to work because let's face it, I need the money. I am still pretty nasal and tired, but I am not as achy as before. It's on its way out, just probably a few more days and I will be back to 100% again.

Dan brought me soup over the weekend. :D I thought that was such a sweet idea. I was not feeling well at all, and seeing him definitely made me feel better. Plus, the soup was quite tasty and it always does the body good. If I didn't say it enough before... Thank you again! :)

What else can I report upon? I saw my awesome ladies this weekend. Clarissa, Sara, and Emily. Sara and Emily both live out of state now, so anytime they are in town.. I tend to monopolize them... tell everyone else I am quite on the busy side. I have known these ladies for most of my life, and I plan on knowing them for the rest of it. That's why its wonderful to see them, even if its only for a few hours at the very least. Sara is engaged and planning out her lovely May wedding sometime in 2012 I want to say. Sometimes I forget, because I'm like that. I'm very excited to be a part of the wedding party.. and of course excited for her as well. I like seeing my friends happy, because in this life... every happiness no matter how small or how big counts for something.

I am a deli girl now. That's right, chuckle if you will. This college grad serves the masses with slices of tasty meat and cheese, cut and ground to your liking. So, stop by and visit me every once in awhile, familiar faces will probably make the day go by that much faster.

I also volunteer for The Buddy Foundation. I love it. :) I am currently working with the most adorable cats/kitties at this no kill animal shelter. I play with them, and socialize them so they interact better with humans, and have a better chance of going home with a nice family.
Here are my fave babies: pictured on top: Squash, then Maverick, and last, but certainly not least.. my little girl Simone. :) I love them all, and wish I could take them home with me. But, alas... I cannot. :(

Whenever I get my life together and move out of my childhood home, I will have pets. Probably dogs and cats. Hopefully.

I guess that's all I have to say for now. I work, I apply to jobs, I volunteer, and I spend time with my family, friends, and boyfriend who all mean so much to me. Life is getting better day by day. I don't know how I am going to handle the year anniversary of my Dad's death this month. But, we all know I'll probably blog about that experience later.

Right now, I'm trying to stay happy. A battle well worth fighting for.

Alas.. knowledge really is power

Ok. After many years of suffering with some strange and rather embarrassing syndromes that my body chooses to torture me with. I have discovered something so radical, so insane, so unpredictable.. that somehow it all makes sense! When I was about 14 years old, I was diagnosed with Raynaud's Syndrome a very irritating vascular condition that makes winters especially hellish for me. My hands and feet will freeze randomly, sometimes for no reason at all. There are moments when I lose all feeling in all, or some of these extremities.. it often feels like pins and needles when the blood finally does rush back. Then, they swell and hurt. So, it's a lose lose situation either way you look at it. It sucks.

Today, while researching ways to prevent the symptoms, and find ways to make it less painful, I read an article that mentioned that individuals who suffer from Raynaud's Syndrome can also develop hyperhidrosis!!! This news excites me! Hyperhidrosis is a humiliating disease that makes me want to draw away from people just to protect them from pure disgustiness. I can make fun of it around my family, friends, and Dan( thanks for putting up with it, hun :-*) but around colleagues and those I interview with... it is beyond humiliating. It is borderline depressing. Just imagine.. you are already nervous for an interview... and both of your hands start to sweat profusely... I'm not talking a little sweat.. I'm talking the same wetness you experience after dipping your hands in water... but, it doesn't dry, it stays wet. You can wipe your hands as many times as you want, but they still stay disgusting. Now, you have to shake someone's hand. No one deserves to suffer that.

I have been debating the botox injections to the hands and feet to lessen the sweat. I think you go in once a month or something like that. Once I am on my own insurance, I intend to pay for it in full. Because I can't live like this anymore. My second option is, surgery. They make laser incisions in the thoracic area of the body... to reach the glands inbetween the rib cages. It sounds painful, but if the botox injections don't work.... then, I will save up for that as my final resort.

I am thankful that people who care about me, don't make me feel like a freak with these diseases. :) They make me feel pretty bad about myself sometimes.

Here are links with more info: Raynaud's Syndrome and Hyperhidrosis.

Alas.. knowledge really is power

Ok. After many years of suffering with some strange and rather embarrassing syndromes that my body chooses to torture me with. I have discovered something so radical, so insane, so unpredictable.. that somehow it all makes sense! When I was about 14 years old, I was diagnosed with Raynaud's Syndrome a very irritating vascular condition that makes winters especially hellish for me. My hands and feet will freeze randomly, sometimes for no reason at all. There are moments when I lose all feeling in all, or some of these extremities.. it often feels like pins and needles when the blood finally does rush back. Then, they swell and hurt. So, it's a lose lose situation either way you look at it. It sucks.

Today, while researching ways to prevent the symptoms, and find ways to make it less painful, I read an article that mentioned that individuals who suffer from Raynaud's Syndrome can also develop hyperhidrosis!!! This news excites me! Hyperhidrosis is a humiliating disease that makes me want to draw away from people just to protect them from pure disgustiness. I can make fun of it around my family, friends, and Dan( thanks for putting up with it, hun :-*) but around colleagues and those I interview with... it is beyond humiliating. It is borderline depressing. Just imagine.. you are already nervous for an interview... and both of your hands start to sweat profusely... I'm not talking a little sweat.. I'm talking the same wetness you experience after dipping your hands in water... but, it doesn't dry, it stays wet. You can wipe your hands as many times as you want, but they still stay disgusting. Now, you have to shake someone's hand. No one deserves to suffer that.

I have been debating the botox injections to the hands and feet to lessen the sweat. I think you go in once a month or something like that. Once I am on my own insurance, I intend to pay for it in full. Because I can't live like this anymore. My second option is, surgery. They make laser incisions in the thoracic area of the body... to reach the glands inbetween the rib cages. It sounds painful, but if the botox injections don't work.... then, I will save up for that as my final resort.

I am thankful that people who care about me, don't make me feel like a freak with these diseases. :) They make me feel pretty bad about myself sometimes.

Here are links with more info: Raynaud's Syndrome and Hyperhidrosis.

Thou Must Rip It

And, Rip it gooood! :)

The Farting Preacher - These bloopers are hilarious

I am in a silly mood tonight. Enjoy. :D

Thou Must Rip It

And, Rip it gooood! :)

The Farting Preacher - These bloopers are hilarious

I am in a silly mood tonight. Enjoy. :D

To Sleep Perchance to Dream...

Fall has definitely arrived. Today, is one of those super gloomy, dark days, when the minute you wake up it still looks like night time outside. I just want to curl back up underneath my tight warm blankets and go straight back to sleep. Forget about the world, forget about responsibility, and dream, dream, dream, some more.

My dreams have been nightmarish in quality lately. I know not why. Although, I did dream about my Dad last night, and then woke up in a very depressed state of mind. In this dream, he apologized for not being around anymore. I was trying to explain to him, that his death wasn't his fault. And, it isn't. I think that 'life happens when you are busy making other plans'. Maybe that quote should read 'death happens when you are busy making other plans' I like the way that one sounds better. Added morbidity.

Either way. I told him that we all love him, and we miss him everyday. He said it upsets him to see us all in so much pain. I told him, because we are part of the living world.. it's just how we deal with grief. It's a natural process and if anything a healthy one at that. You can't keep feelings like that bottled up inside forever.

I don't know how the dream ended, and I don't remember. Alls I can recall is waking up feeling like I usually feel after dreams like that... a strong sense of bittersweetness. More of the bitter... less on the sweet.

I have a job interview on Monday. I really hope I get it because money is getting tight, and I want to maintain some semblance of independence in my 'child like' life. I am going to put my game face on.. not that I haven't before.. and really just sell that shit. Sell myself. In a non whoring fashion of course.

I can't wait for Halloween this year. I am so excited. I have a costume ready and everything. I want to go to a haunted house, I want to watch scary movies, my boyfriend and I are going to summon Satan. That's right.. I said it... hahaha. Overall, it will be a blast.. and it's my favorite holiday of the year.

Peace out for now.

To Sleep Perchance to Dream...

Fall has definitely arrived. Today, is one of those super gloomy, dark days, when the minute you wake up it still looks like night time outside. I just want to curl back up underneath my tight warm blankets and go straight back to sleep. Forget about the world, forget about responsibility, and dream, dream, dream, some more.

My dreams have been nightmarish in quality lately. I know not why. Although, I did dream about my Dad last night, and then woke up in a very depressed state of mind. In this dream, he apologized for not being around anymore. I was trying to explain to him, that his death wasn't his fault. And, it isn't. I think that 'life happens when you are busy making other plans'. Maybe that quote should read 'death happens when you are busy making other plans' I like the way that one sounds better. Added morbidity.

Either way. I told him that we all love him, and we miss him everyday. He said it upsets him to see us all in so much pain. I told him, because we are part of the living world.. it's just how we deal with grief. It's a natural process and if anything a healthy one at that. You can't keep feelings like that bottled up inside forever.

I don't know how the dream ended, and I don't remember. Alls I can recall is waking up feeling like I usually feel after dreams like that... a strong sense of bittersweetness. More of the bitter... less on the sweet.

I have a job interview on Monday. I really hope I get it because money is getting tight, and I want to maintain some semblance of independence in my 'child like' life. I am going to put my game face on.. not that I haven't before.. and really just sell that shit. Sell myself. In a non whoring fashion of course.

I can't wait for Halloween this year. I am so excited. I have a costume ready and everything. I want to go to a haunted house, I want to watch scary movies, my boyfriend and I are going to summon Satan. That's right.. I said it... hahaha. Overall, it will be a blast.. and it's my favorite holiday of the year.

Peace out for now.

People Make Me Sick

So. I was browsing xanga recently and I found the most disturbing, vile, video I have ever encountered in my short life. I hope, nay.. I pray.. that the actual contents of this video are fake. I want to believe with all of my heart and soul, that people care more for living creatures than this young woman does.

Here is the synopsis of the video. A young girl (teenager) is throwing 7 wk old puppies into a river. The police are on the hunt for her. The only reason I am posting this note is because I hope someone knows this girl and is brave enough to turn her and the culprit that videotaped the entire ordeal into the police immediately. No one deserves to get away with something like this. NO ONE.

Here is the link to the xanga site with the video. WARNING: what you are about to see is graphic, vile, repulsive... etc. It makes me cry. If anyone knows who this girl is... turn them both in immediately. Do what is right.

Let's find these people and put them away forever.

Stuff like this makes me want to become an 'Animal Cop', but I am waaay too sensitive for that.

I'm done for now.

People Make Me Sick

So. I was browsing xanga recently and I found the most disturbing, vile, video I have ever encountered in my short life. I hope, nay.. I pray.. that the actual contents of this video are fake. I want to believe with all of my heart and soul, that people care more for living creatures than this young woman does.

Here is the synopsis of the video. A young girl (teenager) is throwing 7 wk old puppies into a river. The police are on the hunt for her. The only reason I am posting this note is because I hope someone knows this girl and is brave enough to turn her and the culprit that videotaped the entire ordeal into the police immediately. No one deserves to get away with something like this. NO ONE.

Here is the link to the xanga site with the video. WARNING: what you are about to see is graphic, vile, repulsive... etc. It makes me cry. If anyone knows who this girl is... turn them both in immediately. Do what is right.

Let's find these people and put them away forever.

Stuff like this makes me want to become an 'Animal Cop', but I am waaay too sensitive for that.

I'm done for now.

Estoy pensando en ti

Estoy pensando en ti! - that goes to someone that I like very much! ;) If you read this, let's see if you can translate it! Hehehe.

On to serious things. Today did not start out as a happy day. I wish it did, but it didn't. The events that occurred today made me want to rethink a few things with the goals I have set for myself in this life. Once upon a time, I wanted to move south. I hate winter with the passion of Satan's flaming farts... more than anyone will really understand. I have always loved beaches, the ocean, and palm trees. But, all that changed... today.

Now, I want to stay here for as long as I can. Not necessarily in my childhood home, but I wouldn't mind staying here for another 8-12 months.. just to save money... and make sure everything/everyone is ok. There are definite reasons for that. I have been debating the idea of working from home... it might be kinda fun, and then again it might not. Maybe I could bake cakes or something. ;) And, then drive to events and deliver them to people.

That would actually be really fun.

I want to bake cakes or become an extra in a movie. I think all of that would be pretty grand.

Hmmm sugar comas... delicious.

Here is an awesome video my boyfriend posted on my facebook wall.. I love it.. and want to share it with the world. Hahaha. Enjoy snitches!

Estoy pensando en ti

Estoy pensando en ti! - that goes to someone that I like very much! ;) If you read this, let's see if you can translate it! Hehehe.

On to serious things. Today did not start out as a happy day. I wish it did, but it didn't. The events that occurred today made me want to rethink a few things with the goals I have set for myself in this life. Once upon a time, I wanted to move south. I hate winter with the passion of Satan's flaming farts... more than anyone will really understand. I have always loved beaches, the ocean, and palm trees. But, all that changed... today.

Now, I want to stay here for as long as I can. Not necessarily in my childhood home, but I wouldn't mind staying here for another 8-12 months.. just to save money... and make sure everything/everyone is ok. There are definite reasons for that. I have been debating the idea of working from home... it might be kinda fun, and then again it might not. Maybe I could bake cakes or something. ;) And, then drive to events and deliver them to people.

That would actually be really fun.

I want to bake cakes or become an extra in a movie. I think all of that would be pretty grand.

Hmmm sugar comas... delicious.

Here is an awesome video my boyfriend posted on my facebook wall.. I love it.. and want to share it with the world. Hahaha. Enjoy snitches!

Other Things of Things

Well, I left my job with Armia. It was probably the best decision of my life. Currently, I am unemployed and still on that job hunt. I give myself a month before I even debate going back to retail, because it sucks that much. I have to do what I have to do. My goal is to move out by next year. I have two friends that might be my roomies... if anyone else wants to join in... just let me know. :) Four, might work even better.. just so we can all save monies.

I also need help designing a new tattoo. I want to get this one for my birthday this year. If any of you are artists, please comment here or if you are my fb friend.. shoot me a message. I have this idea that I really want to see come to life.

It's a family joke that my Dad started, and I think it would be a great tattoo. :)

I want to have 4 cubed.. and then wings on either side. :)

Just thoughts for the day.

Other Things of Things

Well, I left my job with Armia. It was probably the best decision of my life. Currently, I am unemployed and still on that job hunt. I give myself a month before I even debate going back to retail, because it sucks that much. I have to do what I have to do. My goal is to move out by next year. I have two friends that might be my roomies... if anyone else wants to join in... just let me know. :) Four, might work even better.. just so we can all save monies.

I also need help designing a new tattoo. I want to get this one for my birthday this year. If any of you are artists, please comment here or if you are my fb friend.. shoot me a message. I have this idea that I really want to see come to life.

It's a family joke that my Dad started, and I think it would be a great tattoo. :)

I want to have 4 cubed.. and then wings on either side. :)

Just thoughts for the day.

Roadtrip to Washington State

I just got back on Monday evening, from an amazing cross country road trip with one of my best friends, Ms. Ashley J. :) It was an experience of a lifetime. I have never been out west before, so I had no idea the beautiful scenery I would encounter on the long drive to Silverdale, WA.

As we drove through a handful of states, we stopped along the way to photograph and generally explore our strange and magnificent surroundings. Let me explain. We had to stop every 300 miles or so for gas, food, let the lil puppies take a walk, and for our own personal sanity.

On the way, we discovered the Jolly Green Giant, (not pictured here) in Blue Earth, Minnesota. It was a 60 ft. statue next to a little house with tourist information. Now, how can we resist? We took pictures beneath the happy giant in his same exact stance. It was pretty damn cool. Not to mention my favorite color in all the world is blue, so any town or city with that word in it, I will automatically like.

As we continued our journey of a lifetime, the drive through South Dakota was a spectacular one. Many years ago, my family and I vacationed there, and I remember touring the badlands and exploring the cliffs. We sadly didn't have time for that, because Ashley and I were in a bit of a time crunch, seeing as we both had to get back to IL in a bit of a hurry. I am not going to lie, I wish we had more time on the road, but another issue there was money. Sidenote: always make sure you have more than one way to pay on the road. Some gas stations in tiny, tiny, towns might not accept credit cards, so it's best to have cash handy before you hit the road.

If you look below and see the human with his pet dinosaur on a leash, that is one of the stops we made in South Dakota. We just arrived in that stunning state before nightfall, because as you can plainly see... sunset illuminates the statues.

I was surprised to see the beauty and the desolation of Wyoming and Montana. I have never been to either one of these states before, and I would love to drive through one day again, and/or go back. It is stunning. Nothing like the flatlands of the midwest. Oh no.

As you drive through Wyoming and Montana, you see the hills start to roll all around you, but take a closer look, because those hills turn into canyons. That's right, beautiful, bright green, and sometimes rocky canyons exploding into the deep chasms of the earth, or erupting from beneath. I took as many photos as I possibly could when I had the chance. Scenery like that needs to be documented and appreciated.

In two days time, we finally made it to Silverdale, WA. Our first stop, was of course.... food. Before I talk about the top photograph let me first explain the beauty of the mountains of Idaho and the pass we went through before finally reaching Washington state. I have never seen such mountains before in my short little life. Idaho, who would've thunk? Is an amazing state. The pine trees extended into the sky, and the mountains stare you down as you drive through the windy, possibly, dangerous roads leading you to your final destination.

I just stared the entire time, and took pictures. They were so frightening and yet, majestic at the same time. I feel like I must bow down and respect the mountains and the trees. I want them to stay unscathed by industrial investments forever. I want them to stay wild. And, I sincerely hope they do. When we arrived in the mountainous pass leading us to Washington the mountains rained on us hard core. I am thankful I wasn't driving at the time. Ashley being her tough awesome self, held her own in the pass as the violent rainfall beat down on us, blocking our vision in the darkness all around. It was a little scary for awhile, but as soon as the rain began, it ended, and we arrived in our 'final destination' safe and sound.

The next day, is where the VW beatle picture comes into play. She took me to this adorable hippy style cafe in Bremerton. I loved the eclectic decorations and attitude that we found there. Even the waiters/waitresses seemed to come from a different era. How I envied them in some small way. The bathroom, which I certainly had to use, had a spinning disco ball a few feet above the toilet. You can bet I turned that baby on, because I'm cool like that.

As the days continued in beautiful Washington, my friend and I toured Lake Kitsap, which is where she and I are pictured in the second photograph. Then, we went to Seattle, a hilly, hip, fun city.. the likes I have never seen before. I really liked it. To be honest, I can even see myself living there permanently. I like the city life. If only I had the finances to support such a dream. We went up the space needle, I swallowed my intense fear of heights, and felt the needle sway and flow in the wind. That, was slightly intimidating, I must say. The view of the city was picturesque to say the least.

Then, Ashley and I made the long trek back to our home state of Illinois. On the way, we briefly observed what Testy Festy might have been in Montana. I sadly, forget the town right now. This festival is an amazing time of pure drunkenness and debauchery throughout. Nudity, and just about whatever you mind can imagine seem to occur in this small town. We saw campers, trailers, and one girl with no underwear on. I saw her cheeks and everything, and I'm not talking about her face.

Since, we had the lovely puppies with us, Buffy and Dawn.. we decided it would not be wise to continue this adventure seeing as we would have to leave them in the car, and/or constantly worry about someone accidentally harming them in an inebriated state. Not good. We giggled, and discussed another possible trip to the festival next year. I actually hope it happens. It looks like something I don't want to miss out on. It might surpass my level of comfort-ability, but it will definitely give me something to write about.

In my deepest conclusion, I say to you my loyal readers... I know some of you, but not all... go on that roadtrip that you and your friend(s) have been talking about. You won't regret it. Just be prepared, think, and always have enough emergency money on you at all times. You just never know when you might need it.

Signing off for now. I am back in IL, on that real world job hunt, and hoping something happens this time around.

We out.

Roadtrip to Washington State

I just got back on Monday evening, from an amazing cross country road trip with one of my best friends, Ms. Ashley J. :) It was an experience of a lifetime. I have never been out west before, so I had no idea the beautiful scenery I would encounter on the long drive to Silverdale, WA.

As we drove through a handful of states, we stopped along the way to photograph and generally explore our strange and magnificent surroundings. Let me explain. We had to stop every 300 miles or so for gas, food, let the lil puppies take a walk, and for our own personal sanity.

On the way, we discovered the Jolly Green Giant, (not pictured here) in Blue Earth, Minnesota. It was a 60 ft. statue next to a little house with tourist information. Now, how can we resist? We took pictures beneath the happy giant in his same exact stance. It was pretty damn cool. Not to mention my favorite color in all the world is blue, so any town or city with that word in it, I will automatically like.

As we continued our journey of a lifetime, the drive through South Dakota was a spectacular one. Many years ago, my family and I vacationed there, and I remember touring the badlands and exploring the cliffs. We sadly didn't have time for that, because Ashley and I were in a bit of a time crunch, seeing as we both had to get back to IL in a bit of a hurry. I am not going to lie, I wish we had more time on the road, but another issue there was money. Sidenote: always make sure you have more than one way to pay on the road. Some gas stations in tiny, tiny, towns might not accept credit cards, so it's best to have cash handy before you hit the road.

If you look below and see the human with his pet dinosaur on a leash, that is one of the stops we made in South Dakota. We just arrived in that stunning state before nightfall, because as you can plainly see... sunset illuminates the statues.

I was surprised to see the beauty and the desolation of Wyoming and Montana. I have never been to either one of these states before, and I would love to drive through one day again, and/or go back. It is stunning. Nothing like the flatlands of the midwest. Oh no.

As you drive through Wyoming and Montana, you see the hills start to roll all around you, but take a closer look, because those hills turn into canyons. That's right, beautiful, bright green, and sometimes rocky canyons exploding into the deep chasms of the earth, or erupting from beneath. I took as many photos as I possibly could when I had the chance. Scenery like that needs to be documented and appreciated.

In two days time, we finally made it to Silverdale, WA. Our first stop, was of course.... food. Before I talk about the top photograph let me first explain the beauty of the mountains of Idaho and the pass we went through before finally reaching Washington state. I have never seen such mountains before in my short little life. Idaho, who would've thunk? Is an amazing state. The pine trees extended into the sky, and the mountains stare you down as you drive through the windy, possibly, dangerous roads leading you to your final destination.

I just stared the entire time, and took pictures. They were so frightening and yet, majestic at the same time. I feel like I must bow down and respect the mountains and the trees. I want them to stay unscathed by industrial investments forever. I want them to stay wild. And, I sincerely hope they do. When we arrived in the mountainous pass leading us to Washington the mountains rained on us hard core. I am thankful I wasn't driving at the time. Ashley being her tough awesome self, held her own in the pass as the violent rainfall beat down on us, blocking our vision in the darkness all around. It was a little scary for awhile, but as soon as the rain began, it ended, and we arrived in our 'final destination' safe and sound.

The next day, is where the VW beatle picture comes into play. She took me to this adorable hippy style cafe in Bremerton. I loved the eclectic decorations and attitude that we found there. Even the waiters/waitresses seemed to come from a different era. How I envied them in some small way. The bathroom, which I certainly had to use, had a spinning disco ball a few feet above the toilet. You can bet I turned that baby on, because I'm cool like that.

As the days continued in beautiful Washington, my friend and I toured Lake Kitsap, which is where she and I are pictured in the second photograph. Then, we went to Seattle, a hilly, hip, fun city.. the likes I have never seen before. I really liked it. To be honest, I can even see myself living there permanently. I like the city life. If only I had the finances to support such a dream. We went up the space needle, I swallowed my intense fear of heights, and felt the needle sway and flow in the wind. That, was slightly intimidating, I must say. The view of the city was picturesque to say the least.

Then, Ashley and I made the long trek back to our home state of Illinois. On the way, we briefly observed what Testy Festy might have been in Montana. I sadly, forget the town right now. This festival is an amazing time of pure drunkenness and debauchery throughout. Nudity, and just about whatever you mind can imagine seem to occur in this small town. We saw campers, trailers, and one girl with no underwear on. I saw her cheeks and everything, and I'm not talking about her face.

Since, we had the lovely puppies with us, Buffy and Dawn.. we decided it would not be wise to continue this adventure seeing as we would have to leave them in the car, and/or constantly worry about someone accidentally harming them in an inebriated state. Not good. We giggled, and discussed another possible trip to the festival next year. I actually hope it happens. It looks like something I don't want to miss out on. It might surpass my level of comfort-ability, but it will definitely give me something to write about.

In my deepest conclusion, I say to you my loyal readers... I know some of you, but not all... go on that roadtrip that you and your friend(s) have been talking about. You won't regret it. Just be prepared, think, and always have enough emergency money on you at all times. You just never know when you might need it.

Signing off for now. I am back in IL, on that real world job hunt, and hoping something happens this time around.

We out.

Trains and Things

Tonight I sit here at 3 am
and, I ponder sitting on a train
I can hear the wheels
smell the people
feel the glances left and right

I ponder sitting on a train
and I watch the world slip away
It is a never ending
purplebrowngreenbluehole
with sprinkles and candy things
all decorated on the outer rim
like a cupcake dream

just like my conscience where my childhood used to be
where I used to write stories
about princesses and princes that love them
about vampires
and darkness
the older I got

now, I just sit here

writing about trains

Trains and Things

Tonight I sit here at 3 am
and, I ponder sitting on a train
I can hear the wheels
smell the people
feel the glances left and right

I ponder sitting on a train
and I watch the world slip away
It is a never ending
purplebrowngreenbluehole
with sprinkles and candy things
all decorated on the outer rim
like a cupcake dream

just like my conscience where my childhood used to be
where I used to write stories
about princesses and princes that love them
about vampires
and darkness
the older I got

now, I just sit here

writing about trains

The Bachelorette- A Woman's Perspective

Alright. I admit. I am a sucker for these reality tv shows. They reel me in, keep me interested, and sadly, I must say, I start to care about the people in them. Why you might ask? Because as a girl, I can relate to what Ali felt when Frank tore her heart out. If I have any male readers, I'm sure you can relate to having your heart broken too. It's a nasty, lingering feeling, and when one party knows its over before the other does... it's even worse.

Here's my theory. If one of you in the relationship is having second thoughts or has thoughts about someone else... its time to call it quits. The more you drag things out, the more you tell yourself 'if I just try a little harder' the end of that relationship will become more dramatic than it needs to be. I don't understand why couples force themselves to go through this. Why would you stay in a relationship if either you, or you know your significant other is completely miserable? If the both of you know deep down somewhere, that you aren't right for each other... then, break up. It really is as simple as that.

One of my best friends said this to me 'Sarah, if you have doubts about him, then you know what to do'. Well, the truth is. I never acted on it. Even, when I would run to my gurl crying... because so and so made me cry... I still didn't have the cajones to call anything off. I am just as guilty as Frank in this instance. Not because I had thoughts about anyone else, but because I had doubts and didn't voice them the minute they came about.

Now. Frank was a complete jerk in dragging the entire situation out. He obviously still had feelings for his ex girlfriend, and he even admitted that it was she he thought about before going to bed every night, not Ali. The girl he just went on a romantic date with. There is something wrong with that. If you are going to sleep thinking/dreaming every night of someone other than the person you are with... its time to reevaluate yourself and the relationship overall.

Some people can tell when the relationship is turning sour, but Ali had no idea. She was completely shocked when Frank broke up with her on live television. I know, the show is most likely scripted, but I feel like her tears in this instance were pretty real. The girl couldn't stop crying... and no matter what sex you are, or what sexual orientation you practice.. if you have ever really cared for someone... you've been there. And, it sucks.

Ali has two great guys at her every beck and call. I am personally rooting for Chris. He seems like a sweet guy, and he comes from a very nice family. Roberto is very attractive, but there is something about him that I don't necessarily trust. Is it the tabloids? I think so. Rumor has it that Roberto ditched an old flame, and she has been looking for him.... hrm. Very, very, interesting....

You can bet your bottom dollar I will be watching the finale of this show in two weeks. I am quite excited to see the end result. And yes.... there will probably be a blog with my opinions on it accordingly.

The following clip is a fun scene between Ali and Frank when things were going well. She gets the wonderful opportunity to slap him. I think its a glimpse into the future....

The Bachelorette- A Woman's Perspective

Alright. I admit. I am a sucker for these reality tv shows. They reel me in, keep me interested, and sadly, I must say, I start to care about the people in them. Why you might ask? Because as a girl, I can relate to what Ali felt when Frank tore her heart out. If I have any male readers, I'm sure you can relate to having your heart broken too. It's a nasty, lingering feeling, and when one party knows its over before the other does... it's even worse.

Here's my theory. If one of you in the relationship is having second thoughts or has thoughts about someone else... its time to call it quits. The more you drag things out, the more you tell yourself 'if I just try a little harder' the end of that relationship will become more dramatic than it needs to be. I don't understand why couples force themselves to go through this. Why would you stay in a relationship if either you, or you know your significant other is completely miserable? If the both of you know deep down somewhere, that you aren't right for each other... then, break up. It really is as simple as that.

One of my best friends said this to me 'Sarah, if you have doubts about him, then you know what to do'. Well, the truth is. I never acted on it. Even, when I would run to my gurl crying... because so and so made me cry... I still didn't have the cajones to call anything off. I am just as guilty as Frank in this instance. Not because I had thoughts about anyone else, but because I had doubts and didn't voice them the minute they came about.

Now. Frank was a complete jerk in dragging the entire situation out. He obviously still had feelings for his ex girlfriend, and he even admitted that it was she he thought about before going to bed every night, not Ali. The girl he just went on a romantic date with. There is something wrong with that. If you are going to sleep thinking/dreaming every night of someone other than the person you are with... its time to reevaluate yourself and the relationship overall.

Some people can tell when the relationship is turning sour, but Ali had no idea. She was completely shocked when Frank broke up with her on live television. I know, the show is most likely scripted, but I feel like her tears in this instance were pretty real. The girl couldn't stop crying... and no matter what sex you are, or what sexual orientation you practice.. if you have ever really cared for someone... you've been there. And, it sucks.

Ali has two great guys at her every beck and call. I am personally rooting for Chris. He seems like a sweet guy, and he comes from a very nice family. Roberto is very attractive, but there is something about him that I don't necessarily trust. Is it the tabloids? I think so. Rumor has it that Roberto ditched an old flame, and she has been looking for him.... hrm. Very, very, interesting....

You can bet your bottom dollar I will be watching the finale of this show in two weeks. I am quite excited to see the end result. And yes.... there will probably be a blog with my opinions on it accordingly.

The following clip is a fun scene between Ali and Frank when things were going well. She gets the wonderful opportunity to slap him. I think its a glimpse into the future....

A Year Later....

It is amazing to me, how quickly a year just seems to float past us all. At first it starts off so, quiet... and calm, and then out of nowhere the days just fly right from underneath your feet and memories become part of the past, and the distant future just isn't so distant anymore.

It has been a year to the day that my beloved Yia Yia passed away. I remember the night she died like it was yesterday. I think I tried to block today.... but, it snuck up on me nevertheless. Rest In Peace Yia Yia. We miss you, and we love you and think of you every single day. I try really hard not to think about the people I lost in 2009. But, then I just start feeling guilty. I think it's important to remember your loved ones, but to still find that medium and 'move on' so to speak. I mean, I guess I have 'moved on' to some degree.. the world won't stop spinning for my sorrows.

But, there are still moments... when it's really quiet.. and I have my thoughts all to myself.. I think of them.... I remember them... and, most of all.. I miss them with all of my heart and soul. I miss the phone conversations my Yia Yia and I used to have. She was always so happy to talk to me, who else is honestly that happy to talk to me? Ever? Everything in my life, every little mundane detail she would want to know about. There was always laughter, and now when I think of those days... I think of tears because of what I have lost.

I remember.. every single year for my birthday.. my aunt and Yia Yia would call and sing to me. It would just brighten my day. I would get a present, a card, and a phone call.. every year. My Yia Yia was always so proud of me, no matter what I did. I hope I make her proud today. I hope I can become the person she wants me to be... whoever that is. I will strive for it. I will.

I just miss her voice, the clanking of her excessive amounts of jewelry, and the smell of her sweet perfume. I need a jewelry box so I can put her pretty jewelry in something nice.. not just leave it stashed away in my drawer somewhere.

You know how after someone dies.. you look back.. and you regret something? Something you could have done with them, for them, etc? Here's what I regret most. I regret never learning the Greek language. She always wanted to teach me the alphabet, but somehow... through my laziness alone... we never really got around to it. I think she would have loved it if I spoke with her in Greek. That, is my one true regret.

Sometimes I think... the universe really has it in for me. I mean seriously. The two people who loved me most in my life are gone now. My Yia Yia and my Daddy. The damn universe just better leave my Mommy alone. I cannot live without her. I tell her to say goodbye to me every morning, and when I told her why she cried. I can't help it. I lost one parent, I will not survive losing another.

In other news: still with my job at Armia. I don't want to talk about it, because it makes me sad. At least it's money.. and that's just the attitude I'm going to take from now on.

Never give up. Never surrender.

Se agapo Yia Yia.

A Year Later....

It is amazing to me, how quickly a year just seems to float past us all. At first it starts off so, quiet... and calm, and then out of nowhere the days just fly right from underneath your feet and memories become part of the past, and the distant future just isn't so distant anymore.

It has been a year to the day that my beloved Yia Yia passed away. I remember the night she died like it was yesterday. I think I tried to block today.... but, it snuck up on me nevertheless. Rest In Peace Yia Yia. We miss you, and we love you and think of you every single day. I try really hard not to think about the people I lost in 2009. But, then I just start feeling guilty. I think it's important to remember your loved ones, but to still find that medium and 'move on' so to speak. I mean, I guess I have 'moved on' to some degree.. the world won't stop spinning for my sorrows.

But, there are still moments... when it's really quiet.. and I have my thoughts all to myself.. I think of them.... I remember them... and, most of all.. I miss them with all of my heart and soul. I miss the phone conversations my Yia Yia and I used to have. She was always so happy to talk to me, who else is honestly that happy to talk to me? Ever? Everything in my life, every little mundane detail she would want to know about. There was always laughter, and now when I think of those days... I think of tears because of what I have lost.

I remember.. every single year for my birthday.. my aunt and Yia Yia would call and sing to me. It would just brighten my day. I would get a present, a card, and a phone call.. every year. My Yia Yia was always so proud of me, no matter what I did. I hope I make her proud today. I hope I can become the person she wants me to be... whoever that is. I will strive for it. I will.

I just miss her voice, the clanking of her excessive amounts of jewelry, and the smell of her sweet perfume. I need a jewelry box so I can put her pretty jewelry in something nice.. not just leave it stashed away in my drawer somewhere.

You know how after someone dies.. you look back.. and you regret something? Something you could have done with them, for them, etc? Here's what I regret most. I regret never learning the Greek language. She always wanted to teach me the alphabet, but somehow... through my laziness alone... we never really got around to it. I think she would have loved it if I spoke with her in Greek. That, is my one true regret.

Sometimes I think... the universe really has it in for me. I mean seriously. The two people who loved me most in my life are gone now. My Yia Yia and my Daddy. The damn universe just better leave my Mommy alone. I cannot live without her. I tell her to say goodbye to me every morning, and when I told her why she cried. I can't help it. I lost one parent, I will not survive losing another.

In other news: still with my job at Armia. I don't want to talk about it, because it makes me sad. At least it's money.. and that's just the attitude I'm going to take from now on.

Never give up. Never surrender.

Se agapo Yia Yia.

Welcome to Adulthood... sort of

Today. I did something that made me feel like a grown up. I will always be a kid at heart, but today was different. I made a decision. Instead of going out 'shopping' with my sister and our friends.. I stayed in.. and started applying to more jobs like a mad woman. After looking at my bank account, having a mini breakdown.. I decided I have to cut back. I have to start cutting back on things that I like to do. Shopping, honestly isn't one of them. I enjoy buying gifts for others and/or buying necessities, I am not one of those girls that does it as a hobby. I know.. I get made fun of for it all the time.. I'm just not that 'feminine'.

Why is that so difficult for people to understand? Why shop when you don't have the money.. and you know you don't have the money? Just so you can feel like crap later on when the bills roll in, or you watch your account diminish? No thank you. I have a lot to learn when it comes to finances and saving.

I am going to learn now. I am going to start now. That means making a change. And, becoming 'lame' if you will. Well, too damn bad. I'm sorry my Mama doesn't pay for everything for me anymore. I don't want her to. She has enough on her mind. I am 23 years old for crying out loud... I can do it myself. And, I should.

I actually feel better after applying to those jobs, I probably won't hear from half of them, but it just felt good to put the effort out there. It's very unlike me (I am quite lazy) so I think it's definitely a step in the right direction.

I think being an 'adult' means you make sacrifices. It all depends on where you are at in your life. If you are married with children, then you make sacrifices for your family. If you are like me, struggling to find your place in this world... and maintain financial independence at the same time.... you have to give up 'going out', 'shopping', 'socializing' and the like... to save money.

Money is a curse when you don't have any, and a blessing when you do.

Let's face it folks.. it makes the world go round and there isn't anything we can do about it.

So, I am going to try and become smarter with it.

That's all for now.

Welcome to Adulthood... sort of

Today. I did something that made me feel like a grown up. I will always be a kid at heart, but today was different. I made a decision. Instead of going out 'shopping' with my sister and our friends.. I stayed in.. and started applying to more jobs like a mad woman. After looking at my bank account, having a mini breakdown.. I decided I have to cut back. I have to start cutting back on things that I like to do. Shopping, honestly isn't one of them. I enjoy buying gifts for others and/or buying necessities, I am not one of those girls that does it as a hobby. I know.. I get made fun of for it all the time.. I'm just not that 'feminine'.

Why is that so difficult for people to understand? Why shop when you don't have the money.. and you know you don't have the money? Just so you can feel like crap later on when the bills roll in, or you watch your account diminish? No thank you. I have a lot to learn when it comes to finances and saving.

I am going to learn now. I am going to start now. That means making a change. And, becoming 'lame' if you will. Well, too damn bad. I'm sorry my Mama doesn't pay for everything for me anymore. I don't want her to. She has enough on her mind. I am 23 years old for crying out loud... I can do it myself. And, I should.

I actually feel better after applying to those jobs, I probably won't hear from half of them, but it just felt good to put the effort out there. It's very unlike me (I am quite lazy) so I think it's definitely a step in the right direction.

I think being an 'adult' means you make sacrifices. It all depends on where you are at in your life. If you are married with children, then you make sacrifices for your family. If you are like me, struggling to find your place in this world... and maintain financial independence at the same time.... you have to give up 'going out', 'shopping', 'socializing' and the like... to save money.

Money is a curse when you don't have any, and a blessing when you do.

Let's face it folks.. it makes the world go round and there isn't anything we can do about it.

So, I am going to try and become smarter with it.

That's all for now.

She's Not Broken... She's Just A Baby...

For whatever reason I really like that line from Lady Gaga's new single... 'Alejandro'. I just relate to it... I feel like a baby with so many things in life, and an old pro at others. It's weird really. A while ago, a friend of mine and I were talking about our 'passions'. Asking one another.. what is your passion? It turns out hers is fashion, even though she is trapped in a job staring into a microscope day in and day out. What is my passion? Well, I would say my passion is a cross between two topics. Writing/helping others.

I enjoy writing about everything that occurs in my life.. either here... or on other sites I possess... I rarely write in my personal journals anymore.. I should probably get to that.. but I get lazy sometimes. I enjoy helping others with their problems. I do not like that my friends and family have problems at all, and I wish I could solve them.. since I can't.. all I can do is listen. I would much rather listen than talk about my own issues... that, is far too painful for me to address.

My Mom and others have told me that I should become a social worker or counselor or something. I can see it. I've had friends call me at wee hours in the morning needing my help, I've had family members confide their deepest, darkest, secrets in me. I am the keeper of secrets it seems. And, I keep them well.

I do not think an office job will make me happy. I think the paycheck will, and that's rather sad. I would love to 'work' but never 'work' a day in my life... if that makes any sense. I wish I could do something that I love. Of course, I need to find out what that is.. first and foremost. Right now, I don't love much of anything. I don't write stories, I don't write poetry... I'm just not 'in it' anymore. This is probably due to my emotional state of mind, which I am not going to get into here... I will say it's getting better though.. occasional relapses here and there, but no one is perfect.

Still employed with Armia Systems, and not enjoying it at all. By the end of June, I plan on doing something different with my time... because this company truly isn't worth it.

Happy Summerness everyone. :D

Here's to a fun three months of sun, beaches, beer, and good times.

We out.

She's Not Broken... She's Just A Baby...

For whatever reason I really like that line from Lady Gaga's new single... 'Alejandro'. I just relate to it... I feel like a baby with so many things in life, and an old pro at others. It's weird really. A while ago, a friend of mine and I were talking about our 'passions'. Asking one another.. what is your passion? It turns out hers is fashion, even though she is trapped in a job staring into a microscope day in and day out. What is my passion? Well, I would say my passion is a cross between two topics. Writing/helping others.

I enjoy writing about everything that occurs in my life.. either here... or on other sites I possess... I rarely write in my personal journals anymore.. I should probably get to that.. but I get lazy sometimes. I enjoy helping others with their problems. I do not like that my friends and family have problems at all, and I wish I could solve them.. since I can't.. all I can do is listen. I would much rather listen than talk about my own issues... that, is far too painful for me to address.

My Mom and others have told me that I should become a social worker or counselor or something. I can see it. I've had friends call me at wee hours in the morning needing my help, I've had family members confide their deepest, darkest, secrets in me. I am the keeper of secrets it seems. And, I keep them well.

I do not think an office job will make me happy. I think the paycheck will, and that's rather sad. I would love to 'work' but never 'work' a day in my life... if that makes any sense. I wish I could do something that I love. Of course, I need to find out what that is.. first and foremost. Right now, I don't love much of anything. I don't write stories, I don't write poetry... I'm just not 'in it' anymore. This is probably due to my emotional state of mind, which I am not going to get into here... I will say it's getting better though.. occasional relapses here and there, but no one is perfect.

Still employed with Armia Systems, and not enjoying it at all. By the end of June, I plan on doing something different with my time... because this company truly isn't worth it.

Happy Summerness everyone. :D

Here's to a fun three months of sun, beaches, beer, and good times.

We out.

The Only Successful Blog-I wrote for my new job

Hey guys,
I literally just read this blog out loud to my lovely Mom a few seconds ago. I like it. My boss from iScripts.com let's me blog about their software and other computer geek fancy terms. Since, I am more of a dork than a geek anyway, it's a bit of a struggle to keep up with the IT world. But, I am trying. Here, is my only successful attempt. :( So far.....

May 10, 2010
Barter networks for the new economy
Filed under: Web services — Tags: barter software, eswap, swap, trade — sarahprais @ 4:58 pm

Today’s economy is definitely in a crisis. For businesses, employers, and their clients to stay afloat during these hard times, money isn’t easy to come by. What if there was a different way to do business? What if you didn’t have to worry about how much you spend and how it will affect you in the long run? There is an answer, an old fashioned way of doing business; it’s called bartering. iScripts eSwap can offer your business a way to do just that. No more worrying about expenses and stressing over issues that you simply can’t change. Now, the economy is your oyster, and you have full control over how you run your business.

Let’s start from the beginning. Here is a perfect article for those of you that don’t entirely understand the concept of barter. (Short on cash? There’s always barter By: Anne Fisher) Fisher explains through people she has interviewed just how the bartering system is used in average businesses across the U.S. today. She cites Joe Montanez, the owner of Bon Voyage Limousine in her article. It is amazing that he can still run a business without ever essentially ‘paying’ anyone back. Instead of using dollars, he uses common sense. Montanez uses an online source to barter his way into doing business with clients. It’s basically a way to trade your services, to obtain someone else’s.

This is why iScripts eSwap is the perfect solution to monetary problems. This online barter software allows the user of the site to swap, buy, and/or sell items. You can create a barter network 2.0 using this software in less than 30 minutes. The users of the site are able to add a wish list to share with their members. They can also negotiate offers and exchange items to their discretion. This is an open source barter script that can allow any amount of modification to bring the wonderful world of bartering to your business.

If a user posts their wish list to their members, this shows what the user wishes to purchase. The members can respond and suggest a trade. Let’s say, the user doesn’t have the money to pay for something he/she wants right away, perhaps another member of the site can barter with them. Instead of paying over the site with a credit card, they can exchange a trade of sorts. The user will provide a service to the member, in order to receive the product they desire. In this way, there is no money exchanged directly, and both parties are satisfied. One party receives a service (maybe car repair) and the other gains an object from their own wish list.

This definitely seems like a win-win situation. The user and his/her member are not using money, but services instead to complete their transaction. Bartering will help those that do not have the necessary funds to complete transactions either for personal or business use. You can keep your business running, with iScripts eSwap. In this day and age, services rendered instead of money are the keys to success.

The Only Successful Blog-I wrote for my new job

Hey guys,
I literally just read this blog out loud to my lovely Mom a few seconds ago. I like it. My boss from iScripts.com let's me blog about their software and other computer geek fancy terms. Since, I am more of a dork than a geek anyway, it's a bit of a struggle to keep up with the IT world. But, I am trying. Here, is my only successful attempt. :( So far.....

May 10, 2010
Barter networks for the new economy
Filed under: Web services — Tags: barter software, eswap, swap, trade — sarahprais @ 4:58 pm

Today’s economy is definitely in a crisis. For businesses, employers, and their clients to stay afloat during these hard times, money isn’t easy to come by. What if there was a different way to do business? What if you didn’t have to worry about how much you spend and how it will affect you in the long run? There is an answer, an old fashioned way of doing business; it’s called bartering. iScripts eSwap can offer your business a way to do just that. No more worrying about expenses and stressing over issues that you simply can’t change. Now, the economy is your oyster, and you have full control over how you run your business.

Let’s start from the beginning. Here is a perfect article for those of you that don’t entirely understand the concept of barter. (Short on cash? There’s always barter By: Anne Fisher) Fisher explains through people she has interviewed just how the bartering system is used in average businesses across the U.S. today. She cites Joe Montanez, the owner of Bon Voyage Limousine in her article. It is amazing that he can still run a business without ever essentially ‘paying’ anyone back. Instead of using dollars, he uses common sense. Montanez uses an online source to barter his way into doing business with clients. It’s basically a way to trade your services, to obtain someone else’s.

This is why iScripts eSwap is the perfect solution to monetary problems. This online barter software allows the user of the site to swap, buy, and/or sell items. You can create a barter network 2.0 using this software in less than 30 minutes. The users of the site are able to add a wish list to share with their members. They can also negotiate offers and exchange items to their discretion. This is an open source barter script that can allow any amount of modification to bring the wonderful world of bartering to your business.

If a user posts their wish list to their members, this shows what the user wishes to purchase. The members can respond and suggest a trade. Let’s say, the user doesn’t have the money to pay for something he/she wants right away, perhaps another member of the site can barter with them. Instead of paying over the site with a credit card, they can exchange a trade of sorts. The user will provide a service to the member, in order to receive the product they desire. In this way, there is no money exchanged directly, and both parties are satisfied. One party receives a service (maybe car repair) and the other gains an object from their own wish list.

This definitely seems like a win-win situation. The user and his/her member are not using money, but services instead to complete their transaction. Bartering will help those that do not have the necessary funds to complete transactions either for personal or business use. You can keep your business running, with iScripts eSwap. In this day and age, services rendered instead of money are the keys to success.