Trains and Things

Tonight I sit here at 3 am
and, I ponder sitting on a train
I can hear the wheels
smell the people
feel the glances left and right

I ponder sitting on a train
and I watch the world slip away
It is a never ending
purplebrowngreenbluehole
with sprinkles and candy things
all decorated on the outer rim
like a cupcake dream

just like my conscience where my childhood used to be
where I used to write stories
about princesses and princes that love them
about vampires
and darkness
the older I got

now, I just sit here

writing about trains

Trains and Things

Tonight I sit here at 3 am
and, I ponder sitting on a train
I can hear the wheels
smell the people
feel the glances left and right

I ponder sitting on a train
and I watch the world slip away
It is a never ending
purplebrowngreenbluehole
with sprinkles and candy things
all decorated on the outer rim
like a cupcake dream

just like my conscience where my childhood used to be
where I used to write stories
about princesses and princes that love them
about vampires
and darkness
the older I got

now, I just sit here

writing about trains

The Bachelorette- A Woman's Perspective

Alright. I admit. I am a sucker for these reality tv shows. They reel me in, keep me interested, and sadly, I must say, I start to care about the people in them. Why you might ask? Because as a girl, I can relate to what Ali felt when Frank tore her heart out. If I have any male readers, I'm sure you can relate to having your heart broken too. It's a nasty, lingering feeling, and when one party knows its over before the other does... it's even worse.

Here's my theory. If one of you in the relationship is having second thoughts or has thoughts about someone else... its time to call it quits. The more you drag things out, the more you tell yourself 'if I just try a little harder' the end of that relationship will become more dramatic than it needs to be. I don't understand why couples force themselves to go through this. Why would you stay in a relationship if either you, or you know your significant other is completely miserable? If the both of you know deep down somewhere, that you aren't right for each other... then, break up. It really is as simple as that.

One of my best friends said this to me 'Sarah, if you have doubts about him, then you know what to do'. Well, the truth is. I never acted on it. Even, when I would run to my gurl crying... because so and so made me cry... I still didn't have the cajones to call anything off. I am just as guilty as Frank in this instance. Not because I had thoughts about anyone else, but because I had doubts and didn't voice them the minute they came about.

Now. Frank was a complete jerk in dragging the entire situation out. He obviously still had feelings for his ex girlfriend, and he even admitted that it was she he thought about before going to bed every night, not Ali. The girl he just went on a romantic date with. There is something wrong with that. If you are going to sleep thinking/dreaming every night of someone other than the person you are with... its time to reevaluate yourself and the relationship overall.

Some people can tell when the relationship is turning sour, but Ali had no idea. She was completely shocked when Frank broke up with her on live television. I know, the show is most likely scripted, but I feel like her tears in this instance were pretty real. The girl couldn't stop crying... and no matter what sex you are, or what sexual orientation you practice.. if you have ever really cared for someone... you've been there. And, it sucks.

Ali has two great guys at her every beck and call. I am personally rooting for Chris. He seems like a sweet guy, and he comes from a very nice family. Roberto is very attractive, but there is something about him that I don't necessarily trust. Is it the tabloids? I think so. Rumor has it that Roberto ditched an old flame, and she has been looking for him.... hrm. Very, very, interesting....

You can bet your bottom dollar I will be watching the finale of this show in two weeks. I am quite excited to see the end result. And yes.... there will probably be a blog with my opinions on it accordingly.

The following clip is a fun scene between Ali and Frank when things were going well. She gets the wonderful opportunity to slap him. I think its a glimpse into the future....

The Bachelorette- A Woman's Perspective

Alright. I admit. I am a sucker for these reality tv shows. They reel me in, keep me interested, and sadly, I must say, I start to care about the people in them. Why you might ask? Because as a girl, I can relate to what Ali felt when Frank tore her heart out. If I have any male readers, I'm sure you can relate to having your heart broken too. It's a nasty, lingering feeling, and when one party knows its over before the other does... it's even worse.

Here's my theory. If one of you in the relationship is having second thoughts or has thoughts about someone else... its time to call it quits. The more you drag things out, the more you tell yourself 'if I just try a little harder' the end of that relationship will become more dramatic than it needs to be. I don't understand why couples force themselves to go through this. Why would you stay in a relationship if either you, or you know your significant other is completely miserable? If the both of you know deep down somewhere, that you aren't right for each other... then, break up. It really is as simple as that.

One of my best friends said this to me 'Sarah, if you have doubts about him, then you know what to do'. Well, the truth is. I never acted on it. Even, when I would run to my gurl crying... because so and so made me cry... I still didn't have the cajones to call anything off. I am just as guilty as Frank in this instance. Not because I had thoughts about anyone else, but because I had doubts and didn't voice them the minute they came about.

Now. Frank was a complete jerk in dragging the entire situation out. He obviously still had feelings for his ex girlfriend, and he even admitted that it was she he thought about before going to bed every night, not Ali. The girl he just went on a romantic date with. There is something wrong with that. If you are going to sleep thinking/dreaming every night of someone other than the person you are with... its time to reevaluate yourself and the relationship overall.

Some people can tell when the relationship is turning sour, but Ali had no idea. She was completely shocked when Frank broke up with her on live television. I know, the show is most likely scripted, but I feel like her tears in this instance were pretty real. The girl couldn't stop crying... and no matter what sex you are, or what sexual orientation you practice.. if you have ever really cared for someone... you've been there. And, it sucks.

Ali has two great guys at her every beck and call. I am personally rooting for Chris. He seems like a sweet guy, and he comes from a very nice family. Roberto is very attractive, but there is something about him that I don't necessarily trust. Is it the tabloids? I think so. Rumor has it that Roberto ditched an old flame, and she has been looking for him.... hrm. Very, very, interesting....

You can bet your bottom dollar I will be watching the finale of this show in two weeks. I am quite excited to see the end result. And yes.... there will probably be a blog with my opinions on it accordingly.

The following clip is a fun scene between Ali and Frank when things were going well. She gets the wonderful opportunity to slap him. I think its a glimpse into the future....

A Year Later....

It is amazing to me, how quickly a year just seems to float past us all. At first it starts off so, quiet... and calm, and then out of nowhere the days just fly right from underneath your feet and memories become part of the past, and the distant future just isn't so distant anymore.

It has been a year to the day that my beloved Yia Yia passed away. I remember the night she died like it was yesterday. I think I tried to block today.... but, it snuck up on me nevertheless. Rest In Peace Yia Yia. We miss you, and we love you and think of you every single day. I try really hard not to think about the people I lost in 2009. But, then I just start feeling guilty. I think it's important to remember your loved ones, but to still find that medium and 'move on' so to speak. I mean, I guess I have 'moved on' to some degree.. the world won't stop spinning for my sorrows.

But, there are still moments... when it's really quiet.. and I have my thoughts all to myself.. I think of them.... I remember them... and, most of all.. I miss them with all of my heart and soul. I miss the phone conversations my Yia Yia and I used to have. She was always so happy to talk to me, who else is honestly that happy to talk to me? Ever? Everything in my life, every little mundane detail she would want to know about. There was always laughter, and now when I think of those days... I think of tears because of what I have lost.

I remember.. every single year for my birthday.. my aunt and Yia Yia would call and sing to me. It would just brighten my day. I would get a present, a card, and a phone call.. every year. My Yia Yia was always so proud of me, no matter what I did. I hope I make her proud today. I hope I can become the person she wants me to be... whoever that is. I will strive for it. I will.

I just miss her voice, the clanking of her excessive amounts of jewelry, and the smell of her sweet perfume. I need a jewelry box so I can put her pretty jewelry in something nice.. not just leave it stashed away in my drawer somewhere.

You know how after someone dies.. you look back.. and you regret something? Something you could have done with them, for them, etc? Here's what I regret most. I regret never learning the Greek language. She always wanted to teach me the alphabet, but somehow... through my laziness alone... we never really got around to it. I think she would have loved it if I spoke with her in Greek. That, is my one true regret.

Sometimes I think... the universe really has it in for me. I mean seriously. The two people who loved me most in my life are gone now. My Yia Yia and my Daddy. The damn universe just better leave my Mommy alone. I cannot live without her. I tell her to say goodbye to me every morning, and when I told her why she cried. I can't help it. I lost one parent, I will not survive losing another.

In other news: still with my job at Armia. I don't want to talk about it, because it makes me sad. At least it's money.. and that's just the attitude I'm going to take from now on.

Never give up. Never surrender.

Se agapo Yia Yia.

A Year Later....

It is amazing to me, how quickly a year just seems to float past us all. At first it starts off so, quiet... and calm, and then out of nowhere the days just fly right from underneath your feet and memories become part of the past, and the distant future just isn't so distant anymore.

It has been a year to the day that my beloved Yia Yia passed away. I remember the night she died like it was yesterday. I think I tried to block today.... but, it snuck up on me nevertheless. Rest In Peace Yia Yia. We miss you, and we love you and think of you every single day. I try really hard not to think about the people I lost in 2009. But, then I just start feeling guilty. I think it's important to remember your loved ones, but to still find that medium and 'move on' so to speak. I mean, I guess I have 'moved on' to some degree.. the world won't stop spinning for my sorrows.

But, there are still moments... when it's really quiet.. and I have my thoughts all to myself.. I think of them.... I remember them... and, most of all.. I miss them with all of my heart and soul. I miss the phone conversations my Yia Yia and I used to have. She was always so happy to talk to me, who else is honestly that happy to talk to me? Ever? Everything in my life, every little mundane detail she would want to know about. There was always laughter, and now when I think of those days... I think of tears because of what I have lost.

I remember.. every single year for my birthday.. my aunt and Yia Yia would call and sing to me. It would just brighten my day. I would get a present, a card, and a phone call.. every year. My Yia Yia was always so proud of me, no matter what I did. I hope I make her proud today. I hope I can become the person she wants me to be... whoever that is. I will strive for it. I will.

I just miss her voice, the clanking of her excessive amounts of jewelry, and the smell of her sweet perfume. I need a jewelry box so I can put her pretty jewelry in something nice.. not just leave it stashed away in my drawer somewhere.

You know how after someone dies.. you look back.. and you regret something? Something you could have done with them, for them, etc? Here's what I regret most. I regret never learning the Greek language. She always wanted to teach me the alphabet, but somehow... through my laziness alone... we never really got around to it. I think she would have loved it if I spoke with her in Greek. That, is my one true regret.

Sometimes I think... the universe really has it in for me. I mean seriously. The two people who loved me most in my life are gone now. My Yia Yia and my Daddy. The damn universe just better leave my Mommy alone. I cannot live without her. I tell her to say goodbye to me every morning, and when I told her why she cried. I can't help it. I lost one parent, I will not survive losing another.

In other news: still with my job at Armia. I don't want to talk about it, because it makes me sad. At least it's money.. and that's just the attitude I'm going to take from now on.

Never give up. Never surrender.

Se agapo Yia Yia.