Time to write, time to think, time to do a lot of things with this here blogger.
I am currently unemployed at the moment. It is not the best position to be in, but it could be a lot worse and sometimes I forget that. I've been laid off twice this year and just trudging along through it with my head barely above chin level some days.
Why is it so difficult to keep a damn job these days? It's outright unacceptable. There are families out there struggling to keep their homes and what are the banks and the big wigs doing about it? From the ground I don't see much changing. Homes are in foreclosure, parents are losing jobs (either laid off or fired), this shouldn't be happening. What happened to the days of yore when we had a thriving economy where jobs were plentiful and accessible to anyone of any background?
We need to get back there somehow. I hope President Obama can aide us in this venture, I have hope that change will happen, but it just won't happen for some time yet. I know people are impatient. I am impatient. Believe it or not, I had plans after college, there were things I wanted to do, places I wanted to live, and independence I couldn't wait to gain.
What is that quote? Life is 80% what happens to you, and 20% what you take from it and do with it. Maybe it's wrong, but what does it matter? Things are thrown at you, and you have to adjust or come up with an alternative plan and move on from there. Recently, I applied for unemployment insurance and I hope I am accepted. I answered a key question incorrectly in the application process and was paid 2 DAYS AFTER I was laid off. I'm not sure how much it complicate things, but from the looks of it, I will either be denied or delayed to receive my claim benefits. I have an 'appeal interview' coming up next week, and I am going to plead my case to the best of my abilities. After all, I worked for this money at companies and jobs that I didn't 'LOVE' by any means. Still, I busted my ass, showed up to work with an eager attitude, and this is what I get in return? Fancy that.
I hope IDES can work with me on this, but we'll see. There are procedures I'm sure they have to follow on their end. I am only a number as far as they're concerned. Mistakes happen, I learned from this one and need to come up with a quick solution. Sometimes that is the best way to learn about life and about yourself, you need to fall on your face, scrape up your knees, trudge through the mud and then wash yourself off and hit the ground running all over again.
Well I'm running, hell, I'm sprinting full speed ahead in to the unknown and I'm not looking back. There's part of me that thinks the universe is trying to tell me something here... maybe I am not in the right field I need to be in. The tarot card lady at my Mom's birthday party did say I need to 'do what I love'. Well, that's a great question. What do I love?
I'm an Aquarius, this in turn means I love a lot of things. I need to narrow down this list and really hone in on what makes me tick. I won't lie, I prefer something in the creative field, but I'm not patient enough to live the life of a poor artist/writer/whatever. I want an income and I want it NOW. I have had a summer job at the very least every year of my life since I was 15 years old. This is no joke. Both of my parents raised me with a good work ethic, because they worked their asses off to provide for my sister and I.
This is something I strive for. I don't give up. Yes, I get emo,bitchy, cranky, whatever... but that's because I'm hard on myself. I over analyze and want to improve everyday. When I step out of an interview I continually ask myself 'what did I say that would convince them to hire me?', 'Would I hire me?', 'Would you?'. I run this back and forth and back and forth again in my head. When I am rejected from the position (which happens more often than not) I ask them why I wasn't selected. The generic response? 'You didn't have enough experience'.
What the hell does that mean? Does that mean I didn't come across as confident enough to you? Does that mean you didn't like my attitude when I walked in? (I made you laugh, didn't I?), Does that mean you already passed judgement on what my qualifications are based on my previous positions because they had nothing to do with this one? I do my damndest to play up what I have and how it can benefit whichever company I am applying for at the time. What more do these folks want? My kidney? Well take one.. I only need one anyway!!!
Just kidding about my kidney. I would like to keep all of my organs intact thankyouverymuch.
Lately I have been thinking of getting back in to theater again. :) I would love to take some acting classes, but without an income to pay for them... I don't see that panning out very well. Maybe with some Xmas/birthday money from relatives I can save up and plot something. I need to let the steam off, get all of my frustrations off my chest. I think if I can learn to be someone else for a day it would benefit my psyche. Seriously.
And on that note... I'm done for today.
Back to job apps and square one it is.
(I should go in to acting, those folks are never guaranteed a gig... look at my past, NEITHER AM I).
And, that's all she wrote.
Friday, December 7, 2012
And So It Is....
Time to write, time to think, time to do a lot of things with this here blogger.
I am currently unemployed at the moment. It is not the best position to be in, but it could be a lot worse and sometimes I forget that. I've been laid off twice this year and just trudging along through it with my head barely above chin level some days.
Why is it so difficult to keep a damn job these days? It's outright unacceptable. There are families out there struggling to keep their homes and what are the banks and the big wigs doing about it? From the ground I don't see much changing. Homes are in foreclosure, parents are losing jobs (either laid off or fired), this shouldn't be happening. What happened to the days of yore when we had a thriving economy where jobs were plentiful and accessible to anyone of any background?
We need to get back there somehow. I hope President Obama can aide us in this venture, I have hope that change will happen, but it just won't happen for some time yet. I know people are impatient. I am impatient. Believe it or not, I had plans after college, there were things I wanted to do, places I wanted to live, and independence I couldn't wait to gain.
What is that quote? Life is 80% what happens to you, and 20% what you take from it and do with it. Maybe it's wrong, but what does it matter? Things are thrown at you, and you have to adjust or come up with an alternative plan and move on from there. Recently, I applied for unemployment insurance and I hope I am accepted. I answered a key question incorrectly in the application process and was paid 2 DAYS AFTER I was laid off. I'm not sure how much it complicate things, but from the looks of it, I will either be denied or delayed to receive my claim benefits. I have an 'appeal interview' coming up next week, and I am going to plead my case to the best of my abilities. After all, I worked for this money at companies and jobs that I didn't 'LOVE' by any means. Still, I busted my ass, showed up to work with an eager attitude, and this is what I get in return? Fancy that.
I hope IDES can work with me on this, but we'll see. There are procedures I'm sure they have to follow on their end. I am only a number as far as they're concerned. Mistakes happen, I learned from this one and need to come up with a quick solution. Sometimes that is the best way to learn about life and about yourself, you need to fall on your face, scrape up your knees, trudge through the mud and then wash yourself off and hit the ground running all over again.
Well I'm running, hell, I'm sprinting full speed ahead in to the unknown and I'm not looking back. There's part of me that thinks the universe is trying to tell me something here... maybe I am not in the right field I need to be in. The tarot card lady at my Mom's birthday party did say I need to 'do what I love'. Well, that's a great question. What do I love?
I'm an Aquarius, this in turn means I love a lot of things. I need to narrow down this list and really hone in on what makes me tick. I won't lie, I prefer something in the creative field, but I'm not patient enough to live the life of a poor artist/writer/whatever. I want an income and I want it NOW. I have had a summer job at the very least every year of my life since I was 15 years old. This is no joke. Both of my parents raised me with a good work ethic, because they worked their asses off to provide for my sister and I.
This is something I strive for. I don't give up. Yes, I get emo,bitchy, cranky, whatever... but that's because I'm hard on myself. I over analyze and want to improve everyday. When I step out of an interview I continually ask myself 'what did I say that would convince them to hire me?', 'Would I hire me?', 'Would you?'. I run this back and forth and back and forth again in my head. When I am rejected from the position (which happens more often than not) I ask them why I wasn't selected. The generic response? 'You didn't have enough experience'.
What the hell does that mean? Does that mean I didn't come across as confident enough to you? Does that mean you didn't like my attitude when I walked in? (I made you laugh, didn't I?), Does that mean you already passed judgement on what my qualifications are based on my previous positions because they had nothing to do with this one? I do my damndest to play up what I have and how it can benefit whichever company I am applying for at the time. What more do these folks want? My kidney? Well take one.. I only need one anyway!!!
Just kidding about my kidney. I would like to keep all of my organs intact thankyouverymuch.
Lately I have been thinking of getting back in to theater again. :) I would love to take some acting classes, but without an income to pay for them... I don't see that panning out very well. Maybe with some Xmas/birthday money from relatives I can save up and plot something. I need to let the steam off, get all of my frustrations off my chest. I think if I can learn to be someone else for a day it would benefit my psyche. Seriously.
And on that note... I'm done for today.
Back to job apps and square one it is.
(I should go in to acting, those folks are never guaranteed a gig... look at my past, NEITHER AM I).
And, that's all she wrote.
I am currently unemployed at the moment. It is not the best position to be in, but it could be a lot worse and sometimes I forget that. I've been laid off twice this year and just trudging along through it with my head barely above chin level some days.
Why is it so difficult to keep a damn job these days? It's outright unacceptable. There are families out there struggling to keep their homes and what are the banks and the big wigs doing about it? From the ground I don't see much changing. Homes are in foreclosure, parents are losing jobs (either laid off or fired), this shouldn't be happening. What happened to the days of yore when we had a thriving economy where jobs were plentiful and accessible to anyone of any background?
We need to get back there somehow. I hope President Obama can aide us in this venture, I have hope that change will happen, but it just won't happen for some time yet. I know people are impatient. I am impatient. Believe it or not, I had plans after college, there were things I wanted to do, places I wanted to live, and independence I couldn't wait to gain.
What is that quote? Life is 80% what happens to you, and 20% what you take from it and do with it. Maybe it's wrong, but what does it matter? Things are thrown at you, and you have to adjust or come up with an alternative plan and move on from there. Recently, I applied for unemployment insurance and I hope I am accepted. I answered a key question incorrectly in the application process and was paid 2 DAYS AFTER I was laid off. I'm not sure how much it complicate things, but from the looks of it, I will either be denied or delayed to receive my claim benefits. I have an 'appeal interview' coming up next week, and I am going to plead my case to the best of my abilities. After all, I worked for this money at companies and jobs that I didn't 'LOVE' by any means. Still, I busted my ass, showed up to work with an eager attitude, and this is what I get in return? Fancy that.
I hope IDES can work with me on this, but we'll see. There are procedures I'm sure they have to follow on their end. I am only a number as far as they're concerned. Mistakes happen, I learned from this one and need to come up with a quick solution. Sometimes that is the best way to learn about life and about yourself, you need to fall on your face, scrape up your knees, trudge through the mud and then wash yourself off and hit the ground running all over again.
Well I'm running, hell, I'm sprinting full speed ahead in to the unknown and I'm not looking back. There's part of me that thinks the universe is trying to tell me something here... maybe I am not in the right field I need to be in. The tarot card lady at my Mom's birthday party did say I need to 'do what I love'. Well, that's a great question. What do I love?
I'm an Aquarius, this in turn means I love a lot of things. I need to narrow down this list and really hone in on what makes me tick. I won't lie, I prefer something in the creative field, but I'm not patient enough to live the life of a poor artist/writer/whatever. I want an income and I want it NOW. I have had a summer job at the very least every year of my life since I was 15 years old. This is no joke. Both of my parents raised me with a good work ethic, because they worked their asses off to provide for my sister and I.
This is something I strive for. I don't give up. Yes, I get emo,bitchy, cranky, whatever... but that's because I'm hard on myself. I over analyze and want to improve everyday. When I step out of an interview I continually ask myself 'what did I say that would convince them to hire me?', 'Would I hire me?', 'Would you?'. I run this back and forth and back and forth again in my head. When I am rejected from the position (which happens more often than not) I ask them why I wasn't selected. The generic response? 'You didn't have enough experience'.
What the hell does that mean? Does that mean I didn't come across as confident enough to you? Does that mean you didn't like my attitude when I walked in? (I made you laugh, didn't I?), Does that mean you already passed judgement on what my qualifications are based on my previous positions because they had nothing to do with this one? I do my damndest to play up what I have and how it can benefit whichever company I am applying for at the time. What more do these folks want? My kidney? Well take one.. I only need one anyway!!!
Just kidding about my kidney. I would like to keep all of my organs intact thankyouverymuch.
Lately I have been thinking of getting back in to theater again. :) I would love to take some acting classes, but without an income to pay for them... I don't see that panning out very well. Maybe with some Xmas/birthday money from relatives I can save up and plot something. I need to let the steam off, get all of my frustrations off my chest. I think if I can learn to be someone else for a day it would benefit my psyche. Seriously.
And on that note... I'm done for today.
Back to job apps and square one it is.
(I should go in to acting, those folks are never guaranteed a gig... look at my past, NEITHER AM I).
And, that's all she wrote.
Thursday, November 8, 2012
It's Been Awhile
Wow.
I just don't write anymore and that makes me pretty sad. :( I've become rather lazy as of late. As a customer service representative for a wedding album company, dealing with coworkers and customers for 40 hours a week really does take a toll on me. Literally, I come home after 430pm and sleep on the couch til about 9pm, then I wake up for 2 more hours and then go back to sleep for good. Such a life I know it.
I need to do more with my life. But, I constantly make excuses that naturally prevent me from doing so. What's my excuse for today? The weather. It is fall. The cold, damp, fall just before winter has arrived and I hate it. I miss the cool, brisk, autumn air with orange, yellow, and red leaves lining my streets. It was as if life in the form of fire burst from their stems and lit the way. Now, they are barren beings that scrape against the steel sky. I told you, cold weather needs to suck it.
What can I update whoever reads and also doesn't read this? Hrm. My Mom and I saw Theresa Caputo live at the Genessee Theater in Waukegan last Sunday and it was truly an amazing experience. :) I don't know what I think about this life, let alone the after life, but I know something is there waiting for us. Not golden gates and angels dressed in white, but we are all made of energy. I just happen to think this energy continues on long after we leave our physical bodies. Do I believe people can talk to the dead? Well, after her show, yes, now I do. I have always believed in ghosts, spirits, demons, all of it. Why not? Who can say it isn't real? I find it all fascinating.
Theresa Caputo is a phenomenon. She read people and shocked them in to tears. I don't think these folks were actors. Not the way they were crying and reacting to her comments. Their stories were awful. It really puts things into perspective. It did for me. I thought losing my Yia Yia and my Dad 3 months apart from each other in 2009 was bad enough. But these poor people lost family members to unsolved murders, suicides, accidental death, illness, etc. Some could not find closure and if one woman can say one personal, completely unknown thing that the rest of the world will not know... and it makes someone feel better? If it brings them the peace they need to know their loved one although no longer with them in this plane of existence is ok somewhere else? I don't really care. That's good enough for me.
I adore the woman. :) Her Jersey tough attitude and her sparkly silver Minolo heels reeled me in. She is a force to be reckoned with that's for sure. I would love to have a private reading with her. Not only to test her to see if she is the 'real deal' but maybe to find my own closure. Yes, my Dad left this earth well loved by his family for sure. But there are still days where I am haunted by his passing. I assume this is naturally all a part of grieving, and I've read over and over again everyone does it in their own way.
What else? Well, this week was pretty big. The Northeast had an awful super storm tear up the Jersey Shore as well as significant towns in New York State. She was called 'Hurricane Sandy' and the bitch packed a punch. Some lost their lives, some lost their homes, and some lost so much more than that the week she ravaged the coast. I have never seen a storm like that before. I can't help but think it means something else. We are damaging this planet in more ways than one and destroying the climate. Is this part of it? I think so. Storms lately have been insane. They are far more violent and take far more casualties than I can recall. It's our own fault.... that's for sure. Everybody needs to donate to these folks out there. They need it. I wish I could donate more. Next paycheck and I think I will. :)
President Obama (my vote included) has been elected for a 2nd term to serve this great United States. I couldn't be more proud of our country and the people for making the absolute right decision. I know the economy has a long way to go, but the POTUS came in to office at the worst possible time. I hope in the next four years he is able to restore jobs back to the families that have been out of work for so long. Back to the people that really need it the most. I believe he can do it. :) President Obama is an inspirational leader, and I can't wait to see what he will do for all of us. :)
My Mom had a Halloween party for her birthday this year and it rocked. :) It really cheered her up and that is all my sister, aunt, and I want for her. We want to keep her happy and in good spirits every year for the rest of her birthdays. October is a very rough month for my family. So any little drop of happiness if we can find it, we hold on to it. For sure.
Ok, I'm getting tired now. I am coming down with my 2nd sinus infection for the year, I can feel it in my head and in my face. My brain literally feels heavy. Fun shit, I know.
Bed time soon enough.
Another day of whiners awaits me. One day I will be where I am supposed to be. Wherever that is the big man upstairs only knows.
I just don't write anymore and that makes me pretty sad. :( I've become rather lazy as of late. As a customer service representative for a wedding album company, dealing with coworkers and customers for 40 hours a week really does take a toll on me. Literally, I come home after 430pm and sleep on the couch til about 9pm, then I wake up for 2 more hours and then go back to sleep for good. Such a life I know it.
I need to do more with my life. But, I constantly make excuses that naturally prevent me from doing so. What's my excuse for today? The weather. It is fall. The cold, damp, fall just before winter has arrived and I hate it. I miss the cool, brisk, autumn air with orange, yellow, and red leaves lining my streets. It was as if life in the form of fire burst from their stems and lit the way. Now, they are barren beings that scrape against the steel sky. I told you, cold weather needs to suck it.
What can I update whoever reads and also doesn't read this? Hrm. My Mom and I saw Theresa Caputo live at the Genessee Theater in Waukegan last Sunday and it was truly an amazing experience. :) I don't know what I think about this life, let alone the after life, but I know something is there waiting for us. Not golden gates and angels dressed in white, but we are all made of energy. I just happen to think this energy continues on long after we leave our physical bodies. Do I believe people can talk to the dead? Well, after her show, yes, now I do. I have always believed in ghosts, spirits, demons, all of it. Why not? Who can say it isn't real? I find it all fascinating.
Theresa Caputo is a phenomenon. She read people and shocked them in to tears. I don't think these folks were actors. Not the way they were crying and reacting to her comments. Their stories were awful. It really puts things into perspective. It did for me. I thought losing my Yia Yia and my Dad 3 months apart from each other in 2009 was bad enough. But these poor people lost family members to unsolved murders, suicides, accidental death, illness, etc. Some could not find closure and if one woman can say one personal, completely unknown thing that the rest of the world will not know... and it makes someone feel better? If it brings them the peace they need to know their loved one although no longer with them in this plane of existence is ok somewhere else? I don't really care. That's good enough for me.
I adore the woman. :) Her Jersey tough attitude and her sparkly silver Minolo heels reeled me in. She is a force to be reckoned with that's for sure. I would love to have a private reading with her. Not only to test her to see if she is the 'real deal' but maybe to find my own closure. Yes, my Dad left this earth well loved by his family for sure. But there are still days where I am haunted by his passing. I assume this is naturally all a part of grieving, and I've read over and over again everyone does it in their own way.
What else? Well, this week was pretty big. The Northeast had an awful super storm tear up the Jersey Shore as well as significant towns in New York State. She was called 'Hurricane Sandy' and the bitch packed a punch. Some lost their lives, some lost their homes, and some lost so much more than that the week she ravaged the coast. I have never seen a storm like that before. I can't help but think it means something else. We are damaging this planet in more ways than one and destroying the climate. Is this part of it? I think so. Storms lately have been insane. They are far more violent and take far more casualties than I can recall. It's our own fault.... that's for sure. Everybody needs to donate to these folks out there. They need it. I wish I could donate more. Next paycheck and I think I will. :)
President Obama (my vote included) has been elected for a 2nd term to serve this great United States. I couldn't be more proud of our country and the people for making the absolute right decision. I know the economy has a long way to go, but the POTUS came in to office at the worst possible time. I hope in the next four years he is able to restore jobs back to the families that have been out of work for so long. Back to the people that really need it the most. I believe he can do it. :) President Obama is an inspirational leader, and I can't wait to see what he will do for all of us. :)
My Mom had a Halloween party for her birthday this year and it rocked. :) It really cheered her up and that is all my sister, aunt, and I want for her. We want to keep her happy and in good spirits every year for the rest of her birthdays. October is a very rough month for my family. So any little drop of happiness if we can find it, we hold on to it. For sure.
Ok, I'm getting tired now. I am coming down with my 2nd sinus infection for the year, I can feel it in my head and in my face. My brain literally feels heavy. Fun shit, I know.
Bed time soon enough.
 |
| Theresa Caputo- 'The Bigger the Hair, the Closer to God' |
 |
| The POTUS, The FLOTUS, and family :) |
 |
| My wonderful family for my Mama's birthday. |
 |
| My ISU gurls and boy- Tabitha (Little Red Riding Hood), Wes (Blind Ref), and Amanda (Hippie Girl) all made it |
It's Been Awhile
Wow.
I just don't write anymore and that makes me pretty sad. :( I've become rather lazy as of late. As a customer service representative for a wedding album company, dealing with coworkers and customers for 40 hours a week really does take a toll on me. Literally, I come home after 430pm and sleep on the couch til about 9pm, then I wake up for 2 more hours and then go back to sleep for good. Such a life I know it.
I need to do more with my life. But, I constantly make excuses that naturally prevent me from doing so. What's my excuse for today? The weather. It is fall. The cold, damp, fall just before winter has arrived and I hate it. I miss the cool, brisk, autumn air with orange, yellow, and red leaves lining my streets. It was as if life in the form of fire burst from their stems and lit the way. Now, they are barren beings that scrape against the steel sky. I told you, cold weather needs to suck it.
What can I update whoever reads and also doesn't read this? Hrm. My Mom and I saw Theresa Caputo live at the Genessee Theater in Waukegan last Sunday and it was truly an amazing experience. :) I don't know what I think about this life, let alone the after life, but I know something is there waiting for us. Not golden gates and angels dressed in white, but we are all made of energy. I just happen to think this energy continues on long after we leave our physical bodies. Do I believe people can talk to the dead? Well, after her show, yes, now I do. I have always believed in ghosts, spirits, demons, all of it. Why not? Who can say it isn't real? I find it all fascinating.
Theresa Caputo is a phenomenon. She read people and shocked them in to tears. I don't think these folks were actors. Not the way they were crying and reacting to her comments. Their stories were awful. It really puts things into perspective. It did for me. I thought losing my Yia Yia and my Dad 3 months apart from each other in 2009 was bad enough. But these poor people lost family members to unsolved murders, suicides, accidental death, illness, etc. Some could not find closure and if one woman can say one personal, completely unknown thing that the rest of the world will not know... and it makes someone feel better? If it brings them the peace they need to know their loved one although no longer with them in this plane of existence is ok somewhere else? I don't really care. That's good enough for me.
I adore the woman. :) Her Jersey tough attitude and her sparkly silver Minolo heels reeled me in. She is a force to be reckoned with that's for sure. I would love to have a private reading with her. Not only to test her to see if she is the 'real deal' but maybe to find my own closure. Yes, my Dad left this earth well loved by his family for sure. But there are still days where I am haunted by his passing. I assume this is naturally all a part of grieving, and I've read over and over again everyone does it in their own way.
What else? Well, this week was pretty big. The Northeast had an awful super storm tear up the Jersey Shore as well as significant towns in New York State. She was called 'Hurricane Sandy' and the bitch packed a punch. Some lost their lives, some lost their homes, and some lost so much more than that the week she ravaged the coast. I have never seen a storm like that before. I can't help but think it means something else. We are damaging this planet in more ways than one and destroying the climate. Is this part of it? I think so. Storms lately have been insane. They are far more violent and take far more casualties than I can recall. It's our own fault.... that's for sure. Everybody needs to donate to these folks out there. They need it. I wish I could donate more. Next paycheck and I think I will. :)
President Obama (my vote included) has been elected for a 2nd term to serve this great United States. I couldn't be more proud of our country and the people for making the absolute right decision. I know the economy has a long way to go, but the POTUS came in to office at the worst possible time. I hope in the next four years he is able to restore jobs back to the families that have been out of work for so long. Back to the people that really need it the most. I believe he can do it. :) President Obama is an inspirational leader, and I can't wait to see what he will do for all of us. :)
My Mom had a Halloween party for her birthday this year and it rocked. :) It really cheered her up and that is all my sister, aunt, and I want for her. We want to keep her happy and in good spirits every year for the rest of her birthdays. October is a very rough month for my family. So any little drop of happiness if we can find it, we hold on to it. For sure.
Ok, I'm getting tired now. I am coming down with my 2nd sinus infection for the year, I can feel it in my head and in my face. My brain literally feels heavy. Fun shit, I know.
Bed time soon enough.
Another day of whiners awaits me. One day I will be where I am supposed to be. Wherever that is the big man upstairs only knows.
I just don't write anymore and that makes me pretty sad. :( I've become rather lazy as of late. As a customer service representative for a wedding album company, dealing with coworkers and customers for 40 hours a week really does take a toll on me. Literally, I come home after 430pm and sleep on the couch til about 9pm, then I wake up for 2 more hours and then go back to sleep for good. Such a life I know it.
I need to do more with my life. But, I constantly make excuses that naturally prevent me from doing so. What's my excuse for today? The weather. It is fall. The cold, damp, fall just before winter has arrived and I hate it. I miss the cool, brisk, autumn air with orange, yellow, and red leaves lining my streets. It was as if life in the form of fire burst from their stems and lit the way. Now, they are barren beings that scrape against the steel sky. I told you, cold weather needs to suck it.
What can I update whoever reads and also doesn't read this? Hrm. My Mom and I saw Theresa Caputo live at the Genessee Theater in Waukegan last Sunday and it was truly an amazing experience. :) I don't know what I think about this life, let alone the after life, but I know something is there waiting for us. Not golden gates and angels dressed in white, but we are all made of energy. I just happen to think this energy continues on long after we leave our physical bodies. Do I believe people can talk to the dead? Well, after her show, yes, now I do. I have always believed in ghosts, spirits, demons, all of it. Why not? Who can say it isn't real? I find it all fascinating.
Theresa Caputo is a phenomenon. She read people and shocked them in to tears. I don't think these folks were actors. Not the way they were crying and reacting to her comments. Their stories were awful. It really puts things into perspective. It did for me. I thought losing my Yia Yia and my Dad 3 months apart from each other in 2009 was bad enough. But these poor people lost family members to unsolved murders, suicides, accidental death, illness, etc. Some could not find closure and if one woman can say one personal, completely unknown thing that the rest of the world will not know... and it makes someone feel better? If it brings them the peace they need to know their loved one although no longer with them in this plane of existence is ok somewhere else? I don't really care. That's good enough for me.
I adore the woman. :) Her Jersey tough attitude and her sparkly silver Minolo heels reeled me in. She is a force to be reckoned with that's for sure. I would love to have a private reading with her. Not only to test her to see if she is the 'real deal' but maybe to find my own closure. Yes, my Dad left this earth well loved by his family for sure. But there are still days where I am haunted by his passing. I assume this is naturally all a part of grieving, and I've read over and over again everyone does it in their own way.
What else? Well, this week was pretty big. The Northeast had an awful super storm tear up the Jersey Shore as well as significant towns in New York State. She was called 'Hurricane Sandy' and the bitch packed a punch. Some lost their lives, some lost their homes, and some lost so much more than that the week she ravaged the coast. I have never seen a storm like that before. I can't help but think it means something else. We are damaging this planet in more ways than one and destroying the climate. Is this part of it? I think so. Storms lately have been insane. They are far more violent and take far more casualties than I can recall. It's our own fault.... that's for sure. Everybody needs to donate to these folks out there. They need it. I wish I could donate more. Next paycheck and I think I will. :)
President Obama (my vote included) has been elected for a 2nd term to serve this great United States. I couldn't be more proud of our country and the people for making the absolute right decision. I know the economy has a long way to go, but the POTUS came in to office at the worst possible time. I hope in the next four years he is able to restore jobs back to the families that have been out of work for so long. Back to the people that really need it the most. I believe he can do it. :) President Obama is an inspirational leader, and I can't wait to see what he will do for all of us. :)
My Mom had a Halloween party for her birthday this year and it rocked. :) It really cheered her up and that is all my sister, aunt, and I want for her. We want to keep her happy and in good spirits every year for the rest of her birthdays. October is a very rough month for my family. So any little drop of happiness if we can find it, we hold on to it. For sure.
Ok, I'm getting tired now. I am coming down with my 2nd sinus infection for the year, I can feel it in my head and in my face. My brain literally feels heavy. Fun shit, I know.
Bed time soon enough.
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| Theresa Caputo- 'The Bigger the Hair, the Closer to God' |
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| The POTUS, The FLOTUS, and family :) |
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| My wonderful family for my Mama's birthday. |
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| My ISU gurls and boy- Tabitha (Little Red Riding Hood), Wes (Blind Ref), and Amanda (Hippie Girl) all made it |
Tuesday, June 5, 2012
A Wedding and A Graduation
Hey folks, not sure if anyone reads this, but whatever.. I felt like blogging tonight.... so... now, I am. I recently went through the toenail surgery I posted on a few weeks ago... it was actually postponed after my friend's wedding. I had the surgery May 29th, and I won't lie.. it sucked ass. I took a special 'relaxation pill' to quell my fear/anxiety of the needles about to enter the bones of my toe and foot. :( My sister also stayed in the room with me.... which I appreciated greatly. She could tell from my shaking arms how petrified I was of the pain about to hit. Even though it made her nauseous... she stayed. And, I love her for it. :) I now have half of my left big toenail gone.. it looks disgusting.. and will probably take some time to heal fully. I hope I can wear cute sandals/heels this summer... maybe I will once I feel less self conscious about my wound. We'll see.
My wonderful friend Sara married her high school sweetheart, Ethan- Memorial Day weekend. :) I couldn't be happier for those two. They finally tied the knot after dating for a total of 8 years. Are you kidding me? After a few months I start to feel claustrophobic in relationships.. and they manage to keep the honeymoon phase going before and most likely after the actual honeymoon itself. They are disgusting... hahaha.. but, in a good way. The lovey dovey thing I could never imagine feeling for anyone else... I show love in a different way. But, I cried when I saw my high school drama buddy in her beautiful white off the shoulder dress. She looked magnificent. The make up and the happy 'glow' brides seem to bestow on their special day played a big part in it all I'm sure. There is nothing more rewarding then feeling happiness for someone else. It is a great feeling to step outside of your own selfish thoughts and feelings... and wish the best for friends, family, and others that you deeply care about. As a self proclaimed cynic on love itself.... I guess there is hope for some of us after all. And, these two certainly proved it. I was honored to participate in the wedding as her bridesmaid. It was my first time after all! :) Although, it was an expensive venture... still worth it never the less.
What else do I have to report on? Well, I now started full time with the company I was originally temping for as just a measly receptionist. I am now a customer service representative.... yet again. So far so good... I have been training for the last couple of weeks and just received my computer today. Of course, none of the programs I need to do my job actually work... so, I'm still behind and need to find alternative ways to catch up fast. That's life I guess. I'm just glad that this position will eventually do more for me than any other I've held in the past. After my 60 day probation period is up... I qualify for benefits. And, once I turn 26 this year... that's something very important to consider. For serious. I am still super grateful to Obama for allowing me to stay on my Mom's health insurance plan for as long as I possibly could. My health took a serious decline since my Dad passed.... for obvious reasons... and I'm slowly getting better and learning how to eat right and take care of myself more. You only get one life and one body to live it in.... so appreciate it all.
My little sister also graduated from the University of Illinois with a Bachelor of Science in Architecture. :) We are all so proud of her, she also maintained an outstanding GPA and graduated as a National Scholar. She was accepted into the Master's Program for Architecture Studies at U of I and will return this fall for her first year as a master's student. If my Dad could just see her now.... he would be so, so, very proud of his youngest daughter. <3
Enjoy a few pictures from the wedding and my sister's graduation. You didn't think I would put any up of my toe did you? Hahahaha..... no, that would be nasty.
That's all she wrote.
My wonderful friend Sara married her high school sweetheart, Ethan- Memorial Day weekend. :) I couldn't be happier for those two. They finally tied the knot after dating for a total of 8 years. Are you kidding me? After a few months I start to feel claustrophobic in relationships.. and they manage to keep the honeymoon phase going before and most likely after the actual honeymoon itself. They are disgusting... hahaha.. but, in a good way. The lovey dovey thing I could never imagine feeling for anyone else... I show love in a different way. But, I cried when I saw my high school drama buddy in her beautiful white off the shoulder dress. She looked magnificent. The make up and the happy 'glow' brides seem to bestow on their special day played a big part in it all I'm sure. There is nothing more rewarding then feeling happiness for someone else. It is a great feeling to step outside of your own selfish thoughts and feelings... and wish the best for friends, family, and others that you deeply care about. As a self proclaimed cynic on love itself.... I guess there is hope for some of us after all. And, these two certainly proved it. I was honored to participate in the wedding as her bridesmaid. It was my first time after all! :) Although, it was an expensive venture... still worth it never the less.
What else do I have to report on? Well, I now started full time with the company I was originally temping for as just a measly receptionist. I am now a customer service representative.... yet again. So far so good... I have been training for the last couple of weeks and just received my computer today. Of course, none of the programs I need to do my job actually work... so, I'm still behind and need to find alternative ways to catch up fast. That's life I guess. I'm just glad that this position will eventually do more for me than any other I've held in the past. After my 60 day probation period is up... I qualify for benefits. And, once I turn 26 this year... that's something very important to consider. For serious. I am still super grateful to Obama for allowing me to stay on my Mom's health insurance plan for as long as I possibly could. My health took a serious decline since my Dad passed.... for obvious reasons... and I'm slowly getting better and learning how to eat right and take care of myself more. You only get one life and one body to live it in.... so appreciate it all.
My little sister also graduated from the University of Illinois with a Bachelor of Science in Architecture. :) We are all so proud of her, she also maintained an outstanding GPA and graduated as a National Scholar. She was accepted into the Master's Program for Architecture Studies at U of I and will return this fall for her first year as a master's student. If my Dad could just see her now.... he would be so, so, very proud of his youngest daughter. <3
That's all she wrote.
A Wedding and A Graduation
Hey folks, not sure if anyone reads this, but whatever.. I felt like blogging tonight.... so... now, I am. I recently went through the toenail surgery I posted on a few weeks ago... it was actually postponed after my friend's wedding. I had the surgery May 29th, and I won't lie.. it sucked ass. I took a special 'relaxation pill' to quell my fear/anxiety of the needles about to enter the bones of my toe and foot. :( My sister also stayed in the room with me.... which I appreciated greatly. She could tell from my shaking arms how petrified I was of the pain about to hit. Even though it made her nauseous... she stayed. And, I love her for it. :) I now have half of my left big toenail gone.. it looks disgusting.. and will probably take some time to heal fully. I hope I can wear cute sandals/heels this summer... maybe I will once I feel less self conscious about my wound. We'll see.
My wonderful friend Sara married her high school sweetheart, Ethan- Memorial Day weekend. :) I couldn't be happier for those two. They finally tied the knot after dating for a total of 8 years. Are you kidding me? After a few months I start to feel claustrophobic in relationships.. and they manage to keep the honeymoon phase going before and most likely after the actual honeymoon itself. They are disgusting... hahaha.. but, in a good way. The lovey dovey thing I could never imagine feeling for anyone else... I show love in a different way. But, I cried when I saw my high school drama buddy in her beautiful white off the shoulder dress. She looked magnificent. The make up and the happy 'glow' brides seem to bestow on their special day played a big part in it all I'm sure. There is nothing more rewarding then feeling happiness for someone else. It is a great feeling to step outside of your own selfish thoughts and feelings... and wish the best for friends, family, and others that you deeply care about. As a self proclaimed cynic on love itself.... I guess there is hope for some of us after all. And, these two certainly proved it. I was honored to participate in the wedding as her bridesmaid. It was my first time after all! :) Although, it was an expensive venture... still worth it never the less.
What else do I have to report on? Well, I now started full time with the company I was originally temping for as just a measly receptionist. I am now a customer service representative.... yet again. So far so good... I have been training for the last couple of weeks and just received my computer today. Of course, none of the programs I need to do my job actually work... so, I'm still behind and need to find alternative ways to catch up fast. That's life I guess. I'm just glad that this position will eventually do more for me than any other I've held in the past. After my 60 day probation period is up... I qualify for benefits. And, once I turn 26 this year... that's something very important to consider. For serious. I am still super grateful to Obama for allowing me to stay on my Mom's health insurance plan for as long as I possibly could. My health took a serious decline since my Dad passed.... for obvious reasons... and I'm slowly getting better and learning how to eat right and take care of myself more. You only get one life and one body to live it in.... so appreciate it all.
My little sister also graduated from the University of Illinois with a Bachelor of Science in Architecture. :) We are all so proud of her, she also maintained an outstanding GPA and graduated as a National Scholar. She was accepted into the Master's Program for Architecture Studies at U of I and will return this fall for her first year as a master's student. If my Dad could just see her now.... he would be so, so, very proud of his youngest daughter. <3
Enjoy a few pictures from the wedding and my sister's graduation. You didn't think I would put any up of my toe did you? Hahahaha..... no, that would be nasty.
That's all she wrote.
My wonderful friend Sara married her high school sweetheart, Ethan- Memorial Day weekend. :) I couldn't be happier for those two. They finally tied the knot after dating for a total of 8 years. Are you kidding me? After a few months I start to feel claustrophobic in relationships.. and they manage to keep the honeymoon phase going before and most likely after the actual honeymoon itself. They are disgusting... hahaha.. but, in a good way. The lovey dovey thing I could never imagine feeling for anyone else... I show love in a different way. But, I cried when I saw my high school drama buddy in her beautiful white off the shoulder dress. She looked magnificent. The make up and the happy 'glow' brides seem to bestow on their special day played a big part in it all I'm sure. There is nothing more rewarding then feeling happiness for someone else. It is a great feeling to step outside of your own selfish thoughts and feelings... and wish the best for friends, family, and others that you deeply care about. As a self proclaimed cynic on love itself.... I guess there is hope for some of us after all. And, these two certainly proved it. I was honored to participate in the wedding as her bridesmaid. It was my first time after all! :) Although, it was an expensive venture... still worth it never the less.
What else do I have to report on? Well, I now started full time with the company I was originally temping for as just a measly receptionist. I am now a customer service representative.... yet again. So far so good... I have been training for the last couple of weeks and just received my computer today. Of course, none of the programs I need to do my job actually work... so, I'm still behind and need to find alternative ways to catch up fast. That's life I guess. I'm just glad that this position will eventually do more for me than any other I've held in the past. After my 60 day probation period is up... I qualify for benefits. And, once I turn 26 this year... that's something very important to consider. For serious. I am still super grateful to Obama for allowing me to stay on my Mom's health insurance plan for as long as I possibly could. My health took a serious decline since my Dad passed.... for obvious reasons... and I'm slowly getting better and learning how to eat right and take care of myself more. You only get one life and one body to live it in.... so appreciate it all.
My little sister also graduated from the University of Illinois with a Bachelor of Science in Architecture. :) We are all so proud of her, she also maintained an outstanding GPA and graduated as a National Scholar. She was accepted into the Master's Program for Architecture Studies at U of I and will return this fall for her first year as a master's student. If my Dad could just see her now.... he would be so, so, very proud of his youngest daughter. <3
That's all she wrote.
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
Today Is The Day...
I get a 2nd surgery on my big left toe. :( I tried to take matters into my own hands, caused an infection so bad I couldn't sleep and had to go on antibiotics for 10 days straight. Now, the surgery that was supposed to stop the problem of the phantom nail.... shall be re-enacted tonight. I was told I am in the 5% group that the surgery doesn't work the first time around. Well, it better work the 2nd. Because:
That's for sure. :(
More happy stories to come later...
More happy stories to come later...
Today Is The Day...
I get a 2nd surgery on my big left toe. :( I tried to take matters into my own hands, caused an infection so bad I couldn't sleep and had to go on antibiotics for 10 days straight. Now, the surgery that was supposed to stop the problem of the phantom nail.... shall be re-enacted tonight. I was told I am in the 5% group that the surgery doesn't work the first time around. Well, it better work the 2nd. Because:
That's for sure. :(
More happy stories to come later...
More happy stories to come later...
Sunday, April 8, 2012
A Trip, A Change, A Thought or Two
A few close friends from college and I just returned from an amazing spring break trip to Las Vegas. :) It's the first time I have been back to the city of sin and I'm old enough to enjoy all of the fine things it has to offer. I gambled a bit, and in total won no more than a dollar. I never said Lady Luck was my friend, or on my side for that matter. My friend, Kate on the other hand... put in $20.00 into one slot machine and came out with $200.00! We were all jealous, naturally.
I loved the weather out there, the party like atmosphere, and in general, people are so much friendlier out west than in my neck of the woods. And, not presumptuous at all. Just talkative, helpful, folks! I would love to move out west... maybe Washington, Arizona, or California, I'm tired of the flat lands and the cold, harsh, winters I have experienced most of my life in the Midwest.
My friends and I ate delicious food, had wonderful yard long daiquiri's and margaritas from Jimmy Buffett's Margaritaville! Tabitha and I went to the Body Museum at the Luxor on the strip. The Luxor is one of my favorite hotels. I add that to The Flamingo (we had a chance to experience their pool), and The Golden Nugget (right off Fremont St. that's where we stayed to save money).
The Body Museum was by far one of the most fascinating exhibits on the human body I have ever seen. The body is a well oiled machine when all of our cells multiply correctly and keep us healthy on the inside and outside. But, when cells mutate, chromosomes change, and organs begin to behave on their own accord. It seems that the body can become a prison of sorts. I see this with my aging family members, and it's painful to watch. That's for another blog, though.
Vegas has a lot to offer. You can sit at the pool drinking the tastiest beverages I have had in a long while (they make them strong, of course), you can walk and shop along the strip, explore the amazing hotels during the day and at night. There is so much people traffic, that people watching is a sport unto itself. I could be entertained in just observing the different types of folks that venture to the city of sin. And, they do come in all different shapes and sizes!
My girls and I (Tabitha, Kate, and myself) took a 'special class' that I dare not mention too much of here. (in case of potential employers prying eyes, or past coworkers, what have you ;). I will say it was a feminine powered class and it let our inner 'kittens' out! It gave ladies the power to own their bodies fully and maintain control. This is something I need to work on myself. I have control of what I want to do. No one else can force you or put you in situations that you're uncomfortable with. That goes for dealing with creeps ladies! NO MEANS NO!!! Anywho, it was fun. Just saying.
Kate, her boyfriend- Morgan, and I (Tabitha sadly took an early flight out :( spent our last day at The Flamingo pool. It was too cold for comfort, but the heat that day was off the charts, so it cooled our bodies from the dry desert air. We sat poolside for hours sipping from hot pink plastic cups, and dancing to the dj's fun music. It was opening day for the pool, so it was pretty busy. We met an amazing group of people there! They work for an internet company based out of New York. I don't want to mention their name, just for privacy purposes. But, if any of you read this... you guys were super friendly, and we really wished we could've stayed an extra night to hang out with you all. :D They seemed like a fun crew to party with. :D
I was pretty depressed coming back to IL. Gray skies, and cold air awaited me. Gross. Something has got to change eventually.
I also have a new temporary position with a company that sells wedding albums. Again, I will not mention the name here. I am the front desk receptionist. So, I'm basically the first line of defense when it comes to incoming phone calls, as well as greeting the customers when they come in to pick up the albums. So far, so good. I'm just glad I have a job right now, and am able to pay off those nasty student loans that will loom over my head for many years to come.
I guess that's all I feel like writing about right now. Enjoy the pics. Feel free to comment, question, whatever.
That's all she wrote.
A Trip, A Change, A Thought or Two
A few close friends from college and I just returned from an amazing spring break trip to Las Vegas. :) It's the first time I have been back to the city of sin and I'm old enough to enjoy all of the fine things it has to offer. I gambled a bit, and in total won no more than a dollar. I never said Lady Luck was my friend, or on my side for that matter. My friend, Kate on the other hand... put in $20.00 into one slot machine and came out with $200.00! We were all jealous, naturally.
I loved the weather out there, the party like atmosphere, and in general, people are so much friendlier out west than in my neck of the woods. And, not presumptuous at all. Just talkative, helpful, folks! I would love to move out west... maybe Washington, Arizona, or California, I'm tired of the flat lands and the cold, harsh, winters I have experienced most of my life in the Midwest.
My friends and I ate delicious food, had wonderful yard long daiquiri's and margaritas from Jimmy Buffett's Margaritaville! Tabitha and I went to the Body Museum at the Luxor on the strip. The Luxor is one of my favorite hotels. I add that to The Flamingo (we had a chance to experience their pool), and The Golden Nugget (right off Fremont St. that's where we stayed to save money).
The Body Museum was by far one of the most fascinating exhibits on the human body I have ever seen. The body is a well oiled machine when all of our cells multiply correctly and keep us healthy on the inside and outside. But, when cells mutate, chromosomes change, and organs begin to behave on their own accord. It seems that the body can become a prison of sorts. I see this with my aging family members, and it's painful to watch. That's for another blog, though.
Vegas has a lot to offer. You can sit at the pool drinking the tastiest beverages I have had in a long while (they make them strong, of course), you can walk and shop along the strip, explore the amazing hotels during the day and at night. There is so much people traffic, that people watching is a sport unto itself. I could be entertained in just observing the different types of folks that venture to the city of sin. And, they do come in all different shapes and sizes!
My girls and I (Tabitha, Kate, and myself) took a 'special class' that I dare not mention too much of here. (in case of potential employers prying eyes, or past coworkers, what have you ;). I will say it was a feminine powered class and it let our inner 'kittens' out! It gave ladies the power to own their bodies fully and maintain control. This is something I need to work on myself. I have control of what I want to do. No one else can force you or put you in situations that you're uncomfortable with. That goes for dealing with creeps ladies! NO MEANS NO!!! Anywho, it was fun. Just saying.
Kate, her boyfriend- Morgan, and I (Tabitha sadly took an early flight out :( spent our last day at The Flamingo pool. It was too cold for comfort, but the heat that day was off the charts, so it cooled our bodies from the dry desert air. We sat poolside for hours sipping from hot pink plastic cups, and dancing to the dj's fun music. It was opening day for the pool, so it was pretty busy. We met an amazing group of people there! They work for an internet company based out of New York. I don't want to mention their name, just for privacy purposes. But, if any of you read this... you guys were super friendly, and we really wished we could've stayed an extra night to hang out with you all. :D They seemed like a fun crew to party with. :D
I was pretty depressed coming back to IL. Gray skies, and cold air awaited me. Gross. Something has got to change eventually.
I also have a new temporary position with a company that sells wedding albums. Again, I will not mention the name here. I am the front desk receptionist. So, I'm basically the first line of defense when it comes to incoming phone calls, as well as greeting the customers when they come in to pick up the albums. So far, so good. I'm just glad I have a job right now, and am able to pay off those nasty student loans that will loom over my head for many years to come.
I guess that's all I feel like writing about right now. Enjoy the pics. Feel free to comment, question, whatever.
That's all she wrote.
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Indeed
Well, my good friend Liz and I had a joint 25th birthday party this year. We had it on her actual day, mine was a week earlier, but it fell on a Sunday. Everyone had a great time. We went to Cortland's Garage downtown and I highly recommend it to everyone. It has a great atmosphere. Relaxed and fun all at the same time. We used Emporer Limo services, their limos were absolutely amazing. Enough room for everyone, great music, and the floor lit up to the beat. I would definitely utilize them again! (hopefully they won't hate me because we left miller lite in the back... I bought a 24 pack and my friends were unable to finish it because we got there so quickly) ooops. Hopefully the people after us drank it and put it to good use. :) Oh well, shit happens.
I ripped my skirt so far up, my cheeks almost glistened all the way through. And, no... I'm not talking about my face. I am a fool when it comes to dresses, skirts, and delicate clothing for women. I am a natural tomboy by choice. I prefer t shirts, jeans, and hoodies over make up everyday and looking fancy pantsy. But, it was my 25th, so I had to look somewhat nice, I guess. My fool self forgot to pull the skirt UP as I climbed into the limo. I am short, limo is tall, you can figure out the rest. I was pretty upset. I get irritated at dumb things, I'm a girl... really.. what do you expect?
As the evening continued the skirt did rip more and more, but luckily it got worse right when the bar closed, and I had a jacket to cover up any inappropriate body parts. I don't remember how much I had to drink that night, and I don't care. No one got sick, everyone socialized with everyone else and they told me over and over again how much fun they had. :) That made me feel good. I have different groups of friends that don't always mesh well together. Most of the time I keep them separate. But, when its a large event.. they have to suck it up and deal.
I think next year I will aim for a low key birthday, but for the 30th... watch out. I want to do something amazing for that. :)
After that kickass time, I have been applying to jobs everyday since the last one let me go. I am not happy that the temp agency I used hasn't called me with any leads yet. I'm not so sure I want to continue using them in the future. If push comes to shove and I really can't find anything in the next few months, then I will use them again. But, overall.. .I hate temp agencies. They never call you, I always have to leave them voicemails, they change interview days/times... it's just a hassle overall. I hate it when they ask me 'Can you be ready in a half hour?' and I have to rush to an interview. Slap on some make up, grab my updated resume, and dress all professional. What is that? I like prepping for interviews beforehand. Not trying to beat traffic just to get there. Absolutely ridiculous.
I have already received countless rejection emails in my inbox. No surprise really. No one seems to hire entry level positions these days. It doesn't make any sense. They don't want to pay you all that much, but yet they want people with 5-10 years experience in the field that I am trying to get into. What the hell is that about? How in the hell am I supposed to gain experience, if no one will hire me so I can place it on my precious, precious, little resume? What is this game that employment agencies play with people? Because that's all it looks like really. ONE BIG FUCKING GAME. Pardon my French.
I really hope things start to improve. To keep myself positive mentally, I am going to eat healthier, attempt to get to bed at a normal time. ATTEMPT I say. And, work out at the local park district 2-3 days a week. Release those precious endorphins. Huzzah!
I am still proudly single and shall remain thus. Recently I have been hanging out with a previous co worker of mine (Dima) :) If it goes somewhere it does, if not.. I'm sure he and I will still remain friends at the very least. He's a good guy, and I do care about him. I'm sure he knows that. I just don't want any titles right now. No confining 'boyfriend/girlfriend' bullcrap. I'm done playing that role in life for now. All it leads to is disappointment in the love game itself. Whatevs. I'm young, and I want to stay that way as long as I can.
I also want to try my hand at acting. I would love to audition for horror movies but the way my life is going, who knows at this stage in the game. If I can land a job, I wouldn't mind taking acting classes on the side... just to let some steam off.
That's all she wrote. For now.
Indeed
Well, my good friend Liz and I had a joint 25th birthday party this year. We had it on her actual day, mine was a week earlier, but it fell on a Sunday. Everyone had a great time. We went to Cortland's Garage downtown and I highly recommend it to everyone. It has a great atmosphere. Relaxed and fun all at the same time. We used Emporer Limo services, their limos were absolutely amazing. Enough room for everyone, great music, and the floor lit up to the beat. I would definitely utilize them again! (hopefully they won't hate me because we left miller lite in the back... I bought a 24 pack and my friends were unable to finish it because we got there so quickly) ooops. Hopefully the people after us drank it and put it to good use. :) Oh well, shit happens.
I ripped my skirt so far up, my cheeks almost glistened all the way through. And, no... I'm not talking about my face. I am a fool when it comes to dresses, skirts, and delicate clothing for women. I am a natural tomboy by choice. I prefer t shirts, jeans, and hoodies over make up everyday and looking fancy pantsy. But, it was my 25th, so I had to look somewhat nice, I guess. My fool self forgot to pull the skirt UP as I climbed into the limo. I am short, limo is tall, you can figure out the rest. I was pretty upset. I get irritated at dumb things, I'm a girl... really.. what do you expect?
As the evening continued the skirt did rip more and more, but luckily it got worse right when the bar closed, and I had a jacket to cover up any inappropriate body parts. I don't remember how much I had to drink that night, and I don't care. No one got sick, everyone socialized with everyone else and they told me over and over again how much fun they had. :) That made me feel good. I have different groups of friends that don't always mesh well together. Most of the time I keep them separate. But, when its a large event.. they have to suck it up and deal.
I think next year I will aim for a low key birthday, but for the 30th... watch out. I want to do something amazing for that. :)
After that kickass time, I have been applying to jobs everyday since the last one let me go. I am not happy that the temp agency I used hasn't called me with any leads yet. I'm not so sure I want to continue using them in the future. If push comes to shove and I really can't find anything in the next few months, then I will use them again. But, overall.. .I hate temp agencies. They never call you, I always have to leave them voicemails, they change interview days/times... it's just a hassle overall. I hate it when they ask me 'Can you be ready in a half hour?' and I have to rush to an interview. Slap on some make up, grab my updated resume, and dress all professional. What is that? I like prepping for interviews beforehand. Not trying to beat traffic just to get there. Absolutely ridiculous.
I have already received countless rejection emails in my inbox. No surprise really. No one seems to hire entry level positions these days. It doesn't make any sense. They don't want to pay you all that much, but yet they want people with 5-10 years experience in the field that I am trying to get into. What the hell is that about? How in the hell am I supposed to gain experience, if no one will hire me so I can place it on my precious, precious, little resume? What is this game that employment agencies play with people? Because that's all it looks like really. ONE BIG FUCKING GAME. Pardon my French.
I really hope things start to improve. To keep myself positive mentally, I am going to eat healthier, attempt to get to bed at a normal time. ATTEMPT I say. And, work out at the local park district 2-3 days a week. Release those precious endorphins. Huzzah!
I am still proudly single and shall remain thus. Recently I have been hanging out with a previous co worker of mine (Dima) :) If it goes somewhere it does, if not.. I'm sure he and I will still remain friends at the very least. He's a good guy, and I do care about him. I'm sure he knows that. I just don't want any titles right now. No confining 'boyfriend/girlfriend' bullcrap. I'm done playing that role in life for now. All it leads to is disappointment in the love game itself. Whatevs. I'm young, and I want to stay that way as long as I can.
I also want to try my hand at acting. I would love to audition for horror movies but the way my life is going, who knows at this stage in the game. If I can land a job, I wouldn't mind taking acting classes on the side... just to let some steam off.
That's all she wrote. For now.
Sunday, February 5, 2012
No Trabajo Para Mi
Read it and weep.
I was let go from my temp position last Friday.
It is what it is. Just didn't meet sales 'standards' or whatever.
So, now it's back to square one. Must find a job, must pay off my loans, bills, etc.
I also have a sinus infection. What a lovely good bye present.
Here ya go... you suck.... now hack up a lung bitch!
In other news, my birthday is in a few days, and I'm excited to party with my family and friends. :)
Not giving up. Because I just don't.
That's all. For now.
HOORAY FOR THE 2012 PUPPY BOWL: <3
No Trabajo Para Mi
Read it and weep.
I was let go from my temp position last Friday.
It is what it is. Just didn't meet sales 'standards' or whatever.
So, now it's back to square one. Must find a job, must pay off my loans, bills, etc.
I also have a sinus infection. What a lovely good bye present.
Here ya go... you suck.... now hack up a lung bitch!
In other news, my birthday is in a few days, and I'm excited to party with my family and friends. :)
Not giving up. Because I just don't.
That's all. For now.
HOORAY FOR THE 2012 PUPPY BOWL: <3
Thursday, January 26, 2012
It Gets Better, Right?
I have a day off today. It's nice having that in the middle of the week sometimes. I just need a day to myself, so I can sit around, veg in front of the TV, think, and blog. Lately, I've been thinking about all kinds of things. Where is my life going? Am I where I want to be? What do I want to accomplish out of this thing? Well, here are a few of the answers.
My life has been stagnant for a long time.
I am not where I want to be. I am almost 25 years old, and am thankful I have a job so
I can feel some type of independence, but at this stage in the game, I shouldn't be relying on my Mom as much as I do financially. It isn't fair to her, she has enough crap going on. Stuff I dare not write here, because that wouldn't be right.
I have accomplished one thing. I did earn my B.A. from ISU. Now, I'm not saying that isn't a good thing. But, it really hasn't done anything for me. I've worked in the food industry, in the insurance industry, in customer service.... none of that pertains to anything I studied for 4 years. All of the time, effort, tears, stress, and most importantly money pouring from my parent's bank accounts for 3 years and mine for the final 4th year. What the hell has it done?
If my Dad could see me now, I know he would be happy that I HAVE a job, and very entertained by the stories no doubt, but both he and my Mom want more for me out of this life. I WANT MORE FOR ME. But, I don't try as hard as I should to get it. Why you ask? Because I block myself. I mean c'mon, I might as well shoot for unrealistic things, I am so used to rejection in other aspects of life.. why not just go for it?
Seriously, what have I got to lose?
GAHHH!!!! I swear I should've been a hippy back in the day. I really do think I was born in the wrong era. I want to travel and write about my travels. Write about my experiences, and how it all comes together. That, would be awesome.
Well, wah wah wah... it is my blog so I get to whine, bitches! Hahaha. Only Kidding. Let's talk about politics now.
I recently listened to President Obama's State of the Union, and I must say, he made everything seem so easy, like it's just an arms length away. I don't think it is. This country, as great as it is, has ALOT of work to do before we're back on our feet again. I am glad we are bringing the troops home. The war we fought for so many years against a nearly invisible enemy has taken a toll on so many families that have lost loved ones. It's about time we bring the heroes home. I don't support WAR, but I do support the brave MEN and WOMEN that sacrifice themselves to keep the rest of us safe. Where would our country be without the organization, and yes, corruption (both seem to come hand and hand) in our government? The answer, we would wind up like so many of our counterparts, a disorganized, violent, mess of a system.
Do I agree with everything that goes on in this government? HELL NO. My opinions and views are probably too drastic to ever be taken seriously, it doesn't mean that I don't have the right to speak up and say something though. That is also the beauty of this country, I CAN SAY SOMETHING, and not worry about being arrested or dragged off by mysterious men in black suits.
I think abortion is a choice only a woman should make. YES, she should inform her partner, boyfriend, husband, hook up, whatever... however she gets pregnant that she wants to terminate it. That would be horrific if someone just went and did it, without talking it over first. It's a huge decision, one that should not be taken lightly. I am PRO CHOICE. Please don't try to change my mind on this issue. It probably won't change anytime soon. Thank you viewers.
I also think that certain substances(Mary Jaaane, hehe) should be legalized in this country. They don't cause anyone any harm, and they help terminally ill cancer patients, as well as people that deal with terrible pain day in and day out manage it, and continue to live a better pain free life. Friends of mine, as well as family members suffer horrible bouts of pain each and everyday. Some of it is due to nerve damage, some is due to muscular issues, and others an outside force caused permanent pain (such as an accident). Why do people I care about need to suffer? Why should the doctors and the pharmaceutical companies prey on them financially, prescribing them insane amounts of pain killers that have awful side effects?
Now, I guess I am a bit hypocritical here. (Let's face it, we all are at some point in life). I too, take pills to manage my dumb circulatory and sweat issues. I have Raynaud's Syndrome and Hyperhidrosis. Here is a list of the shit that I'm on just to get by... and I'm not going to lie.. for me, it works: birth control (self explanatory), oxybutynin(because my sweat glands are on overload every damn day), nifedipine(for my circulatory problems, so my hands, feet, and muscles don't throb because they aren't getting enough blood), omeprazole (I have acid reflux because my diet for the last couple of years has been greasy, disgusting food, and pop--- not anymore though), and I take a rx nasal spray every day because I used to get 2-3 sinus infections a year, and now that my nasal cavities are clean I do not.
I bet the pharmaceutical companies love me. I try hard not to rely on aspirin when my muscles ache for no reason, or due to weather. But, I don't like pain. Sorry. I told you I was a whiner. :)
I went off on a tangent. LEGALIZE IT. BECAUSE IT'S AWESOME. yeah, I said it. DEAL.
Also, I have mixed feelings on marriage. With the divorce rate in this country, due to laziness, infidelity, whatever.. it's just sad. I do not see myself ever getting married. Now, this in turn does not mean that I am AGAINST IT. Why would I be against something that makes two people happy? Supposedly. People misunderstand me all the time. I just don't see marriage for MYSELF. With my past failed relationships, I have had 2 exes tell me they 'love me' and that I am the 'one for them'. All bullshit and lies I tell you. Funny, how one cheated on me with his coworker, and the other dropped me because he just didn't like me anymore. So, when is 'LOVE' real? How do you know if you want to spend the rest of your life with just one person? I guess my parents are an exception. :) They found each other in a world that gives up to quickly on love. I don't know how long they would've been married if my Dad were still alive today. We don't think about that often, it's just too painful for everybody. My parent's marriage was by no means perfect, they argued, they fought... what couple doesn't? Better to get it off your chest, then hold grudges against one another.
In all honesty. I do not think I will ever find that with someone. It is in part my fault too. I am fiercely independent emotionally, and sometimes that comes across as distant or cold. Not the case. I just don't express it verbally or physically every 5 minutes. It is something I need to work on, I am definitely immature in that regard. One day I will grow out of it, one day.
I think that's enough for now. I don't even know where all of this came from. The bowels of my brain no doubt.
Enjoy the random thoughts, or don't.
That's all.... for... now.
It Gets Better, Right?
I have a day off today. It's nice having that in the middle of the week sometimes. I just need a day to myself, so I can sit around, veg in front of the TV, think, and blog. Lately, I've been thinking about all kinds of things. Where is my life going? Am I where I want to be? What do I want to accomplish out of this thing? Well, here are a few of the answers.
My life has been stagnant for a long time.
I am not where I want to be. I am almost 25 years old, and am thankful I have a job so
I can feel some type of independence, but at this stage in the game, I shouldn't be relying on my Mom as much as I do financially. It isn't fair to her, she has enough crap going on. Stuff I dare not write here, because that wouldn't be right.
I have accomplished one thing. I did earn my B.A. from ISU. Now, I'm not saying that isn't a good thing. But, it really hasn't done anything for me. I've worked in the food industry, in the insurance industry, in customer service.... none of that pertains to anything I studied for 4 years. All of the time, effort, tears, stress, and most importantly money pouring from my parent's bank accounts for 3 years and mine for the final 4th year. What the hell has it done?
If my Dad could see me now, I know he would be happy that I HAVE a job, and very entertained by the stories no doubt, but both he and my Mom want more for me out of this life. I WANT MORE FOR ME. But, I don't try as hard as I should to get it. Why you ask? Because I block myself. I mean c'mon, I might as well shoot for unrealistic things, I am so used to rejection in other aspects of life.. why not just go for it?
Seriously, what have I got to lose?
GAHHH!!!! I swear I should've been a hippy back in the day. I really do think I was born in the wrong era. I want to travel and write about my travels. Write about my experiences, and how it all comes together. That, would be awesome.
Well, wah wah wah... it is my blog so I get to whine, bitches! Hahaha. Only Kidding. Let's talk about politics now.
I recently listened to President Obama's State of the Union, and I must say, he made everything seem so easy, like it's just an arms length away. I don't think it is. This country, as great as it is, has ALOT of work to do before we're back on our feet again. I am glad we are bringing the troops home. The war we fought for so many years against a nearly invisible enemy has taken a toll on so many families that have lost loved ones. It's about time we bring the heroes home. I don't support WAR, but I do support the brave MEN and WOMEN that sacrifice themselves to keep the rest of us safe. Where would our country be without the organization, and yes, corruption (both seem to come hand and hand) in our government? The answer, we would wind up like so many of our counterparts, a disorganized, violent, mess of a system.
Do I agree with everything that goes on in this government? HELL NO. My opinions and views are probably too drastic to ever be taken seriously, it doesn't mean that I don't have the right to speak up and say something though. That is also the beauty of this country, I CAN SAY SOMETHING, and not worry about being arrested or dragged off by mysterious men in black suits.
I think abortion is a choice only a woman should make. YES, she should inform her partner, boyfriend, husband, hook up, whatever... however she gets pregnant that she wants to terminate it. That would be horrific if someone just went and did it, without talking it over first. It's a huge decision, one that should not be taken lightly. I am PRO CHOICE. Please don't try to change my mind on this issue. It probably won't change anytime soon. Thank you viewers.
I also think that certain substances(Mary Jaaane, hehe) should be legalized in this country. They don't cause anyone any harm, and they help terminally ill cancer patients, as well as people that deal with terrible pain day in and day out manage it, and continue to live a better pain free life. Friends of mine, as well as family members suffer horrible bouts of pain each and everyday. Some of it is due to nerve damage, some is due to muscular issues, and others an outside force caused permanent pain (such as an accident). Why do people I care about need to suffer? Why should the doctors and the pharmaceutical companies prey on them financially, prescribing them insane amounts of pain killers that have awful side effects?
Now, I guess I am a bit hypocritical here. (Let's face it, we all are at some point in life). I too, take pills to manage my dumb circulatory and sweat issues. I have Raynaud's Syndrome and Hyperhidrosis. Here is a list of the shit that I'm on just to get by... and I'm not going to lie.. for me, it works: birth control (self explanatory), oxybutynin(because my sweat glands are on overload every damn day), nifedipine(for my circulatory problems, so my hands, feet, and muscles don't throb because they aren't getting enough blood), omeprazole (I have acid reflux because my diet for the last couple of years has been greasy, disgusting food, and pop--- not anymore though), and I take a rx nasal spray every day because I used to get 2-3 sinus infections a year, and now that my nasal cavities are clean I do not.
I bet the pharmaceutical companies love me. I try hard not to rely on aspirin when my muscles ache for no reason, or due to weather. But, I don't like pain. Sorry. I told you I was a whiner. :)
I went off on a tangent. LEGALIZE IT. BECAUSE IT'S AWESOME. yeah, I said it. DEAL.
Also, I have mixed feelings on marriage. With the divorce rate in this country, due to laziness, infidelity, whatever.. it's just sad. I do not see myself ever getting married. Now, this in turn does not mean that I am AGAINST IT. Why would I be against something that makes two people happy? Supposedly. People misunderstand me all the time. I just don't see marriage for MYSELF. With my past failed relationships, I have had 2 exes tell me they 'love me' and that I am the 'one for them'. All bullshit and lies I tell you. Funny, how one cheated on me with his coworker, and the other dropped me because he just didn't like me anymore. So, when is 'LOVE' real? How do you know if you want to spend the rest of your life with just one person? I guess my parents are an exception. :) They found each other in a world that gives up to quickly on love. I don't know how long they would've been married if my Dad were still alive today. We don't think about that often, it's just too painful for everybody. My parent's marriage was by no means perfect, they argued, they fought... what couple doesn't? Better to get it off your chest, then hold grudges against one another.
In all honesty. I do not think I will ever find that with someone. It is in part my fault too. I am fiercely independent emotionally, and sometimes that comes across as distant or cold. Not the case. I just don't express it verbally or physically every 5 minutes. It is something I need to work on, I am definitely immature in that regard. One day I will grow out of it, one day.
I think that's enough for now. I don't even know where all of this came from. The bowels of my brain no doubt.
Enjoy the random thoughts, or don't.
That's all.... for... now.
Monday, January 9, 2012
Almost 25 and Stayin Alive...
Happy New Year to my beloved Family and Friends! :) I hope it finds everyone happy, healthy, and ready for a fresh start. I know I am. I have a list of New Year's resolutions, I need to force myself to keep up on. Here's my brief goofy ass list:
1. work out more. Supposedly this expands one's life span, and makes for a better life overall.
2. Eat more fruits and veggies. I'm getting there, vitamin supplements aren't going to replace the goodness that's grown in the ground.
3. Think positive. I hate that I'm such a pessimist/realist, whatever. That attitude definitely needs to change if I want to see my life change too.
4. Write, write, write, again. It sucks that I haven't attempted anything really creative in years. I have no excuse for this, but pure laziness alone.
5. Don't take my family and friends for granted. This is horrible, but I do it all the time though!!!! It needs to stop.
That's all I can think of right now, if there's more, I really don't feeling like adding it here.
I had a really wonderful Xmas spent outside of the house (to escape how Xmas used to be, with all of those memories) we spent it with family, our neighbors, and friends of the family as well. It was a blast. It really kept my mind off of it. Like I mentioned in my previous post, I'm not really into holidays anymore. I spent a shit ton of money on my family, but I don't care, to me, they're worth it.
My New Year was insane. I rang in the new year with two great friends of mine, Tabitha and Melissa. We were dumb enough to go to a club downtown. Needless to say, it was a mistake and won't ever happen again. I hate large crowds of people. Smelly people, drunk people, and disgusting men that think it's ok to grab your ass and shove their member in there while dancing behind you. NOTE TO ALL MEN, IF THE GIRL WANTS YOU TO PUT THE MOVES ON HER, SHE'LL LET YOU KNOW. Not the other way around. Sometimes I want to look good and just spend time with my friends. I'm not about hooking up at clubs. Its dangerous and you never know who you're really bringing home with you. So screw that notion.
I have been happily single for 6 months now. :D No action whatsoever with any guys, just taking care of me, myself, and I. I miss sex every once in awhile, but really, who doesn't? Sex is a natural part of oneself, whether we want to admit it or not, we are all wired as sexual creatures. I see nothing wrong with it! ;) My time will come. I need to be healthier physically and emotionally before I can date seriously again. If anything happens now, it will remain casual.
What else to write about? I'm still with my temp agency and the awesome company I am not going to mention here. My contract is up in a week or so, I hope they buy it and keep me on full time. Who knows what the bosses agendas are. I've stopped worrying about it because there's no point. If its out of my hands then so be it. I show up everyday, with a nice mold-able attitude ready to learn, so hopefully they can see that.
Just wanted to do a quick little update.
That's all she wrote....
For....
Now....
1. work out more. Supposedly this expands one's life span, and makes for a better life overall.
2. Eat more fruits and veggies. I'm getting there, vitamin supplements aren't going to replace the goodness that's grown in the ground.
3. Think positive. I hate that I'm such a pessimist/realist, whatever. That attitude definitely needs to change if I want to see my life change too.
4. Write, write, write, again. It sucks that I haven't attempted anything really creative in years. I have no excuse for this, but pure laziness alone.
5. Don't take my family and friends for granted. This is horrible, but I do it all the time though!!!! It needs to stop.
That's all I can think of right now, if there's more, I really don't feeling like adding it here.
I had a really wonderful Xmas spent outside of the house (to escape how Xmas used to be, with all of those memories) we spent it with family, our neighbors, and friends of the family as well. It was a blast. It really kept my mind off of it. Like I mentioned in my previous post, I'm not really into holidays anymore. I spent a shit ton of money on my family, but I don't care, to me, they're worth it.
My New Year was insane. I rang in the new year with two great friends of mine, Tabitha and Melissa. We were dumb enough to go to a club downtown. Needless to say, it was a mistake and won't ever happen again. I hate large crowds of people. Smelly people, drunk people, and disgusting men that think it's ok to grab your ass and shove their member in there while dancing behind you. NOTE TO ALL MEN, IF THE GIRL WANTS YOU TO PUT THE MOVES ON HER, SHE'LL LET YOU KNOW. Not the other way around. Sometimes I want to look good and just spend time with my friends. I'm not about hooking up at clubs. Its dangerous and you never know who you're really bringing home with you. So screw that notion.
I have been happily single for 6 months now. :D No action whatsoever with any guys, just taking care of me, myself, and I. I miss sex every once in awhile, but really, who doesn't? Sex is a natural part of oneself, whether we want to admit it or not, we are all wired as sexual creatures. I see nothing wrong with it! ;) My time will come. I need to be healthier physically and emotionally before I can date seriously again. If anything happens now, it will remain casual.
What else to write about? I'm still with my temp agency and the awesome company I am not going to mention here. My contract is up in a week or so, I hope they buy it and keep me on full time. Who knows what the bosses agendas are. I've stopped worrying about it because there's no point. If its out of my hands then so be it. I show up everyday, with a nice mold-able attitude ready to learn, so hopefully they can see that.
Just wanted to do a quick little update.
That's all she wrote....
For....
Now....
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