That might seem like a nasty title... but, if you hear why... maybe it won't come across as so harsh. This might get into prose/poetry soon enough, roll with me. :)
I hope I never have a daughter
I don't want to see her cry
I don't want to have to tell her
That sometimes there are no reasons why
Why you feel completely alone
And that no one really cares
Why you cry yourself to sleep at night
And, get angry/upset unawares
Other people just don't get it
But your Mama she understands
Because she went through the same thing
And will be there to hold your hand
Some people just think it's an 'excuse'
Well, I'm here to tell you it's not
Don't blame it on yourself, love
This isn't a disease that you've got
It might have a few names or titles if you will
But, if you haven't suffered from it
Others usually tell you to just 'chill'
Chilling doesn't really help
Cause the pain doesn't disappear
I can't quite put my finger on it
Cause nothing at all is clear
If I ever have a daughter
I hope she isn't like me
I don't want her to suffer
incessently
because of
PMDD
For anyone that doesn't understand this, I would suggest looking it up. I'm here to tell you, it isn't PMS, and it isn't an excuse either. It's a very real condition. I should know, I've been suffering from it since I was 10, I've been undiagnosed until just a few years ago. My cries for help were finally answered in the form of counseling, the pill, and some really awesome familial and friend support. So, whenever someone says to their friend, girlfriend, wife, lover, whomever....
"What is with you? Are you PMSing or something?" maybe the person asking that question should take a step back for a second, and look at the bigger picture. Because for some people it is a hell of alot more than that. It's misunderstood, I am trying to understand it now.
Ok, I guess that's all for now. I won't get any more personal than that.
Have a good one peeps. :)
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
I Hope I Never Have A Daughter
That might seem like a nasty title... but, if you hear why... maybe it won't come across as so harsh. This might get into prose/poetry soon enough, roll with me. :)
I hope I never have a daughter
I don't want to see her cry
I don't want to have to tell her
That sometimes there are no reasons why
Why you feel completely alone
And that no one really cares
Why you cry yourself to sleep at night
And, get angry/upset unawares
Other people just don't get it
But your Mama she understands
Because she went through the same thing
And will be there to hold your hand
Some people just think it's an 'excuse'
Well, I'm here to tell you it's not
Don't blame it on yourself, love
This isn't a disease that you've got
It might have a few names or titles if you will
But, if you haven't suffered from it
Others usually tell you to just 'chill'
Chilling doesn't really help
Cause the pain doesn't disappear
I can't quite put my finger on it
Cause nothing at all is clear
If I ever have a daughter
I hope she isn't like me
I don't want her to suffer
incessently
because of
PMDD
For anyone that doesn't understand this, I would suggest looking it up. I'm here to tell you, it isn't PMS, and it isn't an excuse either. It's a very real condition. I should know, I've been suffering from it since I was 10, I've been undiagnosed until just a few years ago. My cries for help were finally answered in the form of counseling, the pill, and some really awesome familial and friend support. So, whenever someone says to their friend, girlfriend, wife, lover, whomever....
"What is with you? Are you PMSing or something?" maybe the person asking that question should take a step back for a second, and look at the bigger picture. Because for some people it is a hell of alot more than that. It's misunderstood, I am trying to understand it now.
Ok, I guess that's all for now. I won't get any more personal than that.
Have a good one peeps. :)
I hope I never have a daughter
I don't want to see her cry
I don't want to have to tell her
That sometimes there are no reasons why
Why you feel completely alone
And that no one really cares
Why you cry yourself to sleep at night
And, get angry/upset unawares
Other people just don't get it
But your Mama she understands
Because she went through the same thing
And will be there to hold your hand
Some people just think it's an 'excuse'
Well, I'm here to tell you it's not
Don't blame it on yourself, love
This isn't a disease that you've got
It might have a few names or titles if you will
But, if you haven't suffered from it
Others usually tell you to just 'chill'
Chilling doesn't really help
Cause the pain doesn't disappear
I can't quite put my finger on it
Cause nothing at all is clear
If I ever have a daughter
I hope she isn't like me
I don't want her to suffer
incessently
because of
PMDD
For anyone that doesn't understand this, I would suggest looking it up. I'm here to tell you, it isn't PMS, and it isn't an excuse either. It's a very real condition. I should know, I've been suffering from it since I was 10, I've been undiagnosed until just a few years ago. My cries for help were finally answered in the form of counseling, the pill, and some really awesome familial and friend support. So, whenever someone says to their friend, girlfriend, wife, lover, whomever....
"What is with you? Are you PMSing or something?" maybe the person asking that question should take a step back for a second, and look at the bigger picture. Because for some people it is a hell of alot more than that. It's misunderstood, I am trying to understand it now.
Ok, I guess that's all for now. I won't get any more personal than that.
Have a good one peeps. :)
Monday, February 23, 2009
Jesus Loves You, But I'll... C-U-Next-Tuesday
Here is a pretty quote for the day: "Remember you are dust and to dust you shall return"
It has a sense of mystery and beauty to it, doesn't it? You'll never guess where I found it. Two Catholic girls approached me today and asked if I would like to join them for mass on Weds. I thought about telling them how I was raised in the Greek Orthodox church, and how I no longer identify myself with any one religion. I of course, didn't want the preachings, so I just politely took the flyer, and giggled about it later on.
I could sit here and bash Christians all day long, but that just isn't fair. I've come across some ridiculously hypocritical ones here at ISU. I've been told that I treat people with more kindness and respect than 'Christians' that they know. I used to love going to church, until I found out some nasty little information. I think the Greek Orthodox faith has the potential to be very beautiful. The last time I was in a church was for my great uncle's funeral, and it was aesthetically pleasing. I looked up, and there, as large as one's eye could behold was the face of Jesus, and maybe because of the incense, or the sniffling around me, I too, began to tear up. I don't know why though. Everytime I enter a Greek Orthodox church and stare up at the ceiling, I have the urge to cry. I think it's because I left that part of myself a long time ago, and I have no desire to pick it up again. Is it guilt because if I don't go to church I must be a bad person, and my eternal life is doomed to the fiery pits of hell? Is that why I want to cry? Or, is it because I wish Christianity was different. I wish it was open, and understanding, with less pressure to be something that some people just aren't.
I am not a perfect person. In fact, most of the time, I am a downright awful person. I enjoy making fun of people that I don't like, and I talk alot of shit. I admit to it though. There are some thoughts that I probably shouldn't have, and just the fact that they exist, must speak volumes of who I am as a person right? Maybe. We are all entitled to believe what we want to believe.. and that is a great thing. So, why do Christians pressure others to follow their teachings? Why can't people do what they want? Yes, Jesus was a prophet and he did go around preaching the word of his Father, but, Jesus was a man. I think people forget that. He was made of flesh and bone too. I bet he even had SEX!!!! OH MAN!!! Can you imagine that? "Who did you sleep with last, night?" "Our Lord and Savior... Jesus Christ!" Wow, that would be pretty trippy huh? ;)
I like thinking of Jesus as a person. I was talking to a friend awhile back, and she said Jesus was the 'hippie of his day'. A free thinker just living the almost good life.. until it was tragically taken at 33.
I guess I think we should all just COEXIST. I see so many similarities between religion, I don't get why we fight and kill each other over it.
So, until the human race wakes the fuck up. Jesus Loves You, But I think You're a Cunt.
Sometimes, anyway. ;)
Jesus Loves You, But I'll... C-U-Next-Tuesday
Here is a pretty quote for the day: "Remember you are dust and to dust you shall return"
It has a sense of mystery and beauty to it, doesn't it? You'll never guess where I found it. Two Catholic girls approached me today and asked if I would like to join them for mass on Weds. I thought about telling them how I was raised in the Greek Orthodox church, and how I no longer identify myself with any one religion. I of course, didn't want the preachings, so I just politely took the flyer, and giggled about it later on.
I could sit here and bash Christians all day long, but that just isn't fair. I've come across some ridiculously hypocritical ones here at ISU. I've been told that I treat people with more kindness and respect than 'Christians' that they know. I used to love going to church, until I found out some nasty little information. I think the Greek Orthodox faith has the potential to be very beautiful. The last time I was in a church was for my great uncle's funeral, and it was aesthetically pleasing. I looked up, and there, as large as one's eye could behold was the face of Jesus, and maybe because of the incense, or the sniffling around me, I too, began to tear up. I don't know why though. Everytime I enter a Greek Orthodox church and stare up at the ceiling, I have the urge to cry. I think it's because I left that part of myself a long time ago, and I have no desire to pick it up again. Is it guilt because if I don't go to church I must be a bad person, and my eternal life is doomed to the fiery pits of hell? Is that why I want to cry? Or, is it because I wish Christianity was different. I wish it was open, and understanding, with less pressure to be something that some people just aren't.
I am not a perfect person. In fact, most of the time, I am a downright awful person. I enjoy making fun of people that I don't like, and I talk alot of shit. I admit to it though. There are some thoughts that I probably shouldn't have, and just the fact that they exist, must speak volumes of who I am as a person right? Maybe. We are all entitled to believe what we want to believe.. and that is a great thing. So, why do Christians pressure others to follow their teachings? Why can't people do what they want? Yes, Jesus was a prophet and he did go around preaching the word of his Father, but, Jesus was a man. I think people forget that. He was made of flesh and bone too. I bet he even had SEX!!!! OH MAN!!! Can you imagine that? "Who did you sleep with last, night?" "Our Lord and Savior... Jesus Christ!" Wow, that would be pretty trippy huh? ;)
I like thinking of Jesus as a person. I was talking to a friend awhile back, and she said Jesus was the 'hippie of his day'. A free thinker just living the almost good life.. until it was tragically taken at 33.
I guess I think we should all just COEXIST. I see so many similarities between religion, I don't get why we fight and kill each other over it.
So, until the human race wakes the fuck up. Jesus Loves You, But I think You're a Cunt.
Sometimes, anyway. ;)
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Writings
So, my computer has been pretty fucked up lately. Running really slow, and a detection of possible trojans and shit. Whoever creates that stuff is a hateful, bitter, human being. So, if you all read this and your computer gets infected too, I just want to apologize ahead of time, I'm running a virus scan as we speak. Damn it all.
I feel like bitching here, so I will... dangit! I wanted to go home this weekend to see my family, a few friends, and most importantly my Yia Yia (Grandmother in Greek) for those of you that didn't know. She hasn't been doing well lately at all. In a nursing home of course and just drifting away bit by bit. I want to see her while she can still speak. Because I know the day when she stops talking, is getting pretty close. Thanks to school, work, and other outside forces, I was unable to visit her this weekend like planned.
Potbelly's scheduled me for Sat, when I was first hired they said they wouldn't need me on weekends. Then, someone picks up my shift and no one bothers to call me and tell me.The person that was supposed to take my shift, wound up calling in sick. I thought that was funny. Assholes. I could have been driving home at that time, but it was all too late by then. Then, my Mom tells me that its 5 inches of snow up there, so there's no point in making the drive anyway. Great. I was pretty fuckin pissed at PBelly's as well as the weather, but you can't control everything in life, now can you? Now, PBelly's put me on for this upcoming Sat, when I wanted to go home that weekend since I wasn't able to this weekend. I also want spring break off so I can head down to Florida to see Adam for a little bit, seeing as after the month of March, finals and graduation will mainly consume my existence thus far.
I thought getting a job would be a good idea. I still think it is, and I will stick with it til the end of the year because every little bit counts when it comes to money these days. My parents are pretty upset with my spending habits, so they've cut down my budget pretty tight. I guess I can understand why they did it, to teach me a lesson and all of that fun stuff. I basically have enough for rent and groceries, and that's about it. I still spend it on booze and shit, cause I want to and I'm probably an alcoholic anyway. ;)
I don't feel like writing anymore for today. But, I might sometime this week.
We out. :)
I feel like bitching here, so I will... dangit! I wanted to go home this weekend to see my family, a few friends, and most importantly my Yia Yia (Grandmother in Greek) for those of you that didn't know. She hasn't been doing well lately at all. In a nursing home of course and just drifting away bit by bit. I want to see her while she can still speak. Because I know the day when she stops talking, is getting pretty close. Thanks to school, work, and other outside forces, I was unable to visit her this weekend like planned.
Potbelly's scheduled me for Sat, when I was first hired they said they wouldn't need me on weekends. Then, someone picks up my shift and no one bothers to call me and tell me.The person that was supposed to take my shift, wound up calling in sick. I thought that was funny. Assholes. I could have been driving home at that time, but it was all too late by then. Then, my Mom tells me that its 5 inches of snow up there, so there's no point in making the drive anyway. Great. I was pretty fuckin pissed at PBelly's as well as the weather, but you can't control everything in life, now can you? Now, PBelly's put me on for this upcoming Sat, when I wanted to go home that weekend since I wasn't able to this weekend. I also want spring break off so I can head down to Florida to see Adam for a little bit, seeing as after the month of March, finals and graduation will mainly consume my existence thus far.
I thought getting a job would be a good idea. I still think it is, and I will stick with it til the end of the year because every little bit counts when it comes to money these days. My parents are pretty upset with my spending habits, so they've cut down my budget pretty tight. I guess I can understand why they did it, to teach me a lesson and all of that fun stuff. I basically have enough for rent and groceries, and that's about it. I still spend it on booze and shit, cause I want to and I'm probably an alcoholic anyway. ;)
I don't feel like writing anymore for today. But, I might sometime this week.
We out. :)
Writings
So, my computer has been pretty fucked up lately. Running really slow, and a detection of possible trojans and shit. Whoever creates that stuff is a hateful, bitter, human being. So, if you all read this and your computer gets infected too, I just want to apologize ahead of time, I'm running a virus scan as we speak. Damn it all.
I feel like bitching here, so I will... dangit! I wanted to go home this weekend to see my family, a few friends, and most importantly my Yia Yia (Grandmother in Greek) for those of you that didn't know. She hasn't been doing well lately at all. In a nursing home of course and just drifting away bit by bit. I want to see her while she can still speak. Because I know the day when she stops talking, is getting pretty close. Thanks to school, work, and other outside forces, I was unable to visit her this weekend like planned.
Potbelly's scheduled me for Sat, when I was first hired they said they wouldn't need me on weekends. Then, someone picks up my shift and no one bothers to call me and tell me.The person that was supposed to take my shift, wound up calling in sick. I thought that was funny. Assholes. I could have been driving home at that time, but it was all too late by then. Then, my Mom tells me that its 5 inches of snow up there, so there's no point in making the drive anyway. Great. I was pretty fuckin pissed at PBelly's as well as the weather, but you can't control everything in life, now can you? Now, PBelly's put me on for this upcoming Sat, when I wanted to go home that weekend since I wasn't able to this weekend. I also want spring break off so I can head down to Florida to see Adam for a little bit, seeing as after the month of March, finals and graduation will mainly consume my existence thus far.
I thought getting a job would be a good idea. I still think it is, and I will stick with it til the end of the year because every little bit counts when it comes to money these days. My parents are pretty upset with my spending habits, so they've cut down my budget pretty tight. I guess I can understand why they did it, to teach me a lesson and all of that fun stuff. I basically have enough for rent and groceries, and that's about it. I still spend it on booze and shit, cause I want to and I'm probably an alcoholic anyway. ;)
I don't feel like writing anymore for today. But, I might sometime this week.
We out. :)
I feel like bitching here, so I will... dangit! I wanted to go home this weekend to see my family, a few friends, and most importantly my Yia Yia (Grandmother in Greek) for those of you that didn't know. She hasn't been doing well lately at all. In a nursing home of course and just drifting away bit by bit. I want to see her while she can still speak. Because I know the day when she stops talking, is getting pretty close. Thanks to school, work, and other outside forces, I was unable to visit her this weekend like planned.
Potbelly's scheduled me for Sat, when I was first hired they said they wouldn't need me on weekends. Then, someone picks up my shift and no one bothers to call me and tell me.The person that was supposed to take my shift, wound up calling in sick. I thought that was funny. Assholes. I could have been driving home at that time, but it was all too late by then. Then, my Mom tells me that its 5 inches of snow up there, so there's no point in making the drive anyway. Great. I was pretty fuckin pissed at PBelly's as well as the weather, but you can't control everything in life, now can you? Now, PBelly's put me on for this upcoming Sat, when I wanted to go home that weekend since I wasn't able to this weekend. I also want spring break off so I can head down to Florida to see Adam for a little bit, seeing as after the month of March, finals and graduation will mainly consume my existence thus far.
I thought getting a job would be a good idea. I still think it is, and I will stick with it til the end of the year because every little bit counts when it comes to money these days. My parents are pretty upset with my spending habits, so they've cut down my budget pretty tight. I guess I can understand why they did it, to teach me a lesson and all of that fun stuff. I basically have enough for rent and groceries, and that's about it. I still spend it on booze and shit, cause I want to and I'm probably an alcoholic anyway. ;)
I don't feel like writing anymore for today. But, I might sometime this week.
We out. :)
Monday, February 16, 2009
Poetics
Soo... I feel like writing a poem tonight. Then, homework... le sigh.
Ok, I might be a little rusty.. but, here goes.
The birds and the bees are just a few things
That Mommy and Daddy refuse to believe
Reproduction, mating choices, the grunts and groans and animalistic voices
Just think the things you do to your lover
Was the same exact thing your father did to your mother!
I know, because it grosses me out too
But, as fun as sex is for me and for you
Without it
Well
You wouldn't
Be
So give thinks to that bird and that wonderful bee
This literally came out of nowhere. :)
Ok, I might be a little rusty.. but, here goes.
The birds and the bees are just a few things
That Mommy and Daddy refuse to believe
Reproduction, mating choices, the grunts and groans and animalistic voices
Just think the things you do to your lover
Was the same exact thing your father did to your mother!
I know, because it grosses me out too
But, as fun as sex is for me and for you
Without it
Well
You wouldn't
Be
So give thinks to that bird and that wonderful bee
This literally came out of nowhere. :)
Poetics
Soo... I feel like writing a poem tonight. Then, homework... le sigh.
Ok, I might be a little rusty.. but, here goes.
The birds and the bees are just a few things
That Mommy and Daddy refuse to believe
Reproduction, mating choices, the grunts and groans and animalistic voices
Just think the things you do to your lover
Was the same exact thing your father did to your mother!
I know, because it grosses me out too
But, as fun as sex is for me and for you
Without it
Well
You wouldn't
Be
So give thinks to that bird and that wonderful bee
This literally came out of nowhere. :)
Ok, I might be a little rusty.. but, here goes.
The birds and the bees are just a few things
That Mommy and Daddy refuse to believe
Reproduction, mating choices, the grunts and groans and animalistic voices
Just think the things you do to your lover
Was the same exact thing your father did to your mother!
I know, because it grosses me out too
But, as fun as sex is for me and for you
Without it
Well
You wouldn't
Be
So give thinks to that bird and that wonderful bee
This literally came out of nowhere. :)
Yup
So. I finally created a blogger account just for myself. No classes no assignments necessary. This is just for me, and me alone.
My birthday weekend just passed and it was pretty freakin awesome. I missed a few friends that weren't able to attend given financial means or geographical issues. But, the ones that did show made it a pretty awesome time.
Mi amor was there too. Adam. :) My ladies from BG came to visit and of course the ever interesting Ms. Kathy came to visit too. :)
My creepy roommate, Meredith was thankfully gone the entire weekend after I wrote her a note warning of the festivities. I no longer speak to that creature. I think she is an awful, conniving, vindictive, evil, human being. I have never met anyone so backhanded and tricky before. I don't trust anything that comes out of that girl's mouth, and I hate living with her. I love how she finally got the hint that I do not want to talk to her. Ever. Whenever we are in the same area there are no words, sentences, greetings, exchanged. I just hope that lasts for the rest of the year, the less drama the better. No drama sounds good to me.
Ok, I could bitch about her all damn day. So, I'm just going to can it for now, and retire to the kitchen for a small dinner, then wash and homework for the rest of the day. Sexy.
My birthday weekend just passed and it was pretty freakin awesome. I missed a few friends that weren't able to attend given financial means or geographical issues. But, the ones that did show made it a pretty awesome time.
Mi amor was there too. Adam. :) My ladies from BG came to visit and of course the ever interesting Ms. Kathy came to visit too. :)
My creepy roommate, Meredith was thankfully gone the entire weekend after I wrote her a note warning of the festivities. I no longer speak to that creature. I think she is an awful, conniving, vindictive, evil, human being. I have never met anyone so backhanded and tricky before. I don't trust anything that comes out of that girl's mouth, and I hate living with her. I love how she finally got the hint that I do not want to talk to her. Ever. Whenever we are in the same area there are no words, sentences, greetings, exchanged. I just hope that lasts for the rest of the year, the less drama the better. No drama sounds good to me.
Ok, I could bitch about her all damn day. So, I'm just going to can it for now, and retire to the kitchen for a small dinner, then wash and homework for the rest of the day. Sexy.
Yup
So. I finally created a blogger account just for myself. No classes no assignments necessary. This is just for me, and me alone.
My birthday weekend just passed and it was pretty freakin awesome. I missed a few friends that weren't able to attend given financial means or geographical issues. But, the ones that did show made it a pretty awesome time.
Mi amor was there too. Adam. :) My ladies from BG came to visit and of course the ever interesting Ms. Kathy came to visit too. :)
My creepy roommate, Meredith was thankfully gone the entire weekend after I wrote her a note warning of the festivities. I no longer speak to that creature. I think she is an awful, conniving, vindictive, evil, human being. I have never met anyone so backhanded and tricky before. I don't trust anything that comes out of that girl's mouth, and I hate living with her. I love how she finally got the hint that I do not want to talk to her. Ever. Whenever we are in the same area there are no words, sentences, greetings, exchanged. I just hope that lasts for the rest of the year, the less drama the better. No drama sounds good to me.
Ok, I could bitch about her all damn day. So, I'm just going to can it for now, and retire to the kitchen for a small dinner, then wash and homework for the rest of the day. Sexy.
My birthday weekend just passed and it was pretty freakin awesome. I missed a few friends that weren't able to attend given financial means or geographical issues. But, the ones that did show made it a pretty awesome time.
Mi amor was there too. Adam. :) My ladies from BG came to visit and of course the ever interesting Ms. Kathy came to visit too. :)
My creepy roommate, Meredith was thankfully gone the entire weekend after I wrote her a note warning of the festivities. I no longer speak to that creature. I think she is an awful, conniving, vindictive, evil, human being. I have never met anyone so backhanded and tricky before. I don't trust anything that comes out of that girl's mouth, and I hate living with her. I love how she finally got the hint that I do not want to talk to her. Ever. Whenever we are in the same area there are no words, sentences, greetings, exchanged. I just hope that lasts for the rest of the year, the less drama the better. No drama sounds good to me.
Ok, I could bitch about her all damn day. So, I'm just going to can it for now, and retire to the kitchen for a small dinner, then wash and homework for the rest of the day. Sexy.
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