Vida Es..

Yes, indeed. It is that time of year, when the world falls in love... well, that's part of a song, but not entirely false... springtime is essentially the season for le amor because flowers bloom, trees turn green, and hormones rage. Plus, spring is just pretty to look at and I can't wait to say goodbye to winter until next year.... ew.

I find myself both excited and dreading graduation all at the same time. My friends here mean the world to me, and have become a 2nd family of sorts, it is so bizarre to think that around this time next year, I might not be in school.. but, then again, I might be... I'm debating grad school. And, in all honesty I think it might be the way to go. Given economic circumstances, finding a job won't be easy at all. I am completely shocked that I have one now.

Maybe this is the tangent this post will take. My rents have been constantly pushing me to work for the park district again with the little people. Now, I love working with kids, they are awesome, but I am tired of it. I could feel it last summer when the little imps would wipe their boogies on my shorts after wiping their nose, or dealing with scrapes and bruises on the playground, as well as psychotic parents that flip when their child gets a drop of water on their shirt. Seriously? Let children be children for crying out loud, good grief. It's ok to get a little dirty, heaven forbid the real world isn't as hospital clean as your white carpeted living rooms, oh parents of suburbia. Get over it.

I want something different this summer. I want a 'big girl' job. Working behind a desk or something, boring, yes... but so worth it. I want to write for a newspaper, online magazine, or maybe just try to write on my own and earn a buck. Anything, but the park district. Everytime I talk to my rents on the phone they bring it up, and I want to shove my face in a pillow and scream.

I know they mean well, and they certainly won't let me get away with NOT working this summer, I would die of boredom. I will be looking elsewhere because let's face it, if I were a teacher... an elementary school teacher this job would be ideal. But, guess what? I'm not in the education field... nor would I ever want to be. And, kudos to those who can suffer that. I want to write. Any way possible, I want to write about everything and anything. The mundane, the greatness, the good/bad that encompass everyday life. Or, whatever crap comes out of my head. That's what I want to do.

I remember talking to mi novio awhile back and just bursting into tears while talking about going home this summer. It was so silly looking back, but I needed to break down. I feel trapped at home and like giving up. I just do whatever I am told, and I hate it. I want to move out, but I need monies in order for that to happen. I see options though that might just work.

Option A- grad school... anywhere. Be it out of state or in state, if I do grad school chances are I will either have to suffer in the dorms again, or deal with a random roommate in an apartment. It will be a lonely venture, but one that I am willing to risk. It gets me out of the house.

Option B- my cousin mentioned that he needed a roommate. I am highly considering this option because he is an adult and I don't see any drama unfolding if we do room together. Plus, he understands my situation and dire need to explore life and get out of the rent's 'nest' so to speak.

The question is.... which option should I take? Only time will tell, and it feels good to write it out.

I should probably get back to my hw now and concentrate on graduating. But, the fact is, the year is coming to an end, and I can see the ever unpredictable future ahead of me. I guess a part of me wants to start living it now.

I need to focus on the present.

Back to hw for now.
:)