I'll be leaving for Oklahoma this weekend to see Katie. :) I'm pretty excited since I never get to see her over the summer and she leaves soon to study abroad in Italy! :( My Dad was sweet enough to pay for the trip, which I really appreciate... it's a grad gift if you will, because they know how much I want to see her. I'll be there til the 6th.. then Ashley will be in town til the 12th, so that should be fun too. :) :)
I've been thinking that around this time a year ago I would be getting ready to head back to ISU, packing shit up, driving down to the apartment and loading everything in. But, this year... when mid August rolls around, I don't have to go back. And, I'm sort of relieved. Yes, college was in fact the best four years of my life, and I can never replace the wonderful memories that happened there, but at the same time, I won't miss living in that apartment, or walking to classes in below zero weather. Now, I will just be at home, hoping that when the college kids leave I can take their hours at work, so I can make more money to start paying off my loans come December. That's what I'm worried about now. That's what life is now. Loans, loans, and did I mention loans? Oh, and applying for jobs, which I am really starting to hate. It seems futile, even though I know I shouldn't give up, a part of me really, and truly, wants to.
I just think grad school might be in the cards for me. Maybe a school in downtown Chicago? Or, out of state? I would prefer out of state for the hell of it, for the adventure of it all... but, given money issues... who knows. I want to be south.. I don't want to deal with winters anymore or ever again for that matter.
That is definitely my life.... thus far.
Do you ever ask yourself what love is? What is it? How do you know you feel it/have it? Or, do you only realize it was ever there when it's gone? Just some random thoughts for the day I suppose....
Back to applying for jobs, and packing. Laters.
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