Dreams

Lately I have had some pretty awful nightmares. Some pertaining to family members and others pertaining to myself. I always find that my dreams become more graphic if I am stressed or maybe a lil depressed about something going on in my real life.

Here's a dream I had earlier this week. I was pregnant (entirely impossible, and frightening mind you) and the pregnancy was difficult. I had no idea who the father was, but I think I had a boy.. I'm not sure. Anyway, as I'm giving birth my heart apparently stops twice during the dream!!!! Those two times I woke up... startled wondering what the hell was going on... feeling like I had no air! Creepiest feeling ever. Maybe I wasn't breathing? I dunno.

The second dream I had was too disturbing to even write here. It upset me so much, I can barely think about it without feeling ill.

I had a dream about my Yia Yia a few weeks ago. It was eerie.. I didn't feel afraid, I just felt sad when I woke up. As if, my heart has finally accepted the fact that she is really gone, even though my mind doesn't want to. Maybe it's a message from my Yia Yia? I think that if she wanted to send me a message it would be more obvious. I would know what it is when it happens and exactly what she wants me to discover. I know it was her time, but still.. when I pass her room in my Aunt's house.. I have to fight back the tears. It might be like this for awhile.

A girl I used to work with at Potbelly's lost her baby earlier this week. I can't imagine how she must feel. She was pretty mean to me and others there, but still.. I would never wish that pain on anyone. I hope she's alright.

Still searching for something better. I might get a phone interview the 17th... we shall see. Who knows.

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We out.