I survived another birthday weekend. :) I celebrated with family on the actual day (Feb.12th) and with friends this past weekend (Feb.16th.) I learned my lesson in planning reservations at large restaurants, never, ever, trust them. Call them a day in advance to be sure they have everything correct. When I arrived at the bar we were to wine and dine at, I was told the tables I specifically asked for were taken because of the 'game.' The 'game'? Are you kidding me? Do I give a crap about some sport event when I have my friends waiting on the table taps I was supposedly promised a week ago? Naturally, I was infuriated, but kept a semi-cool with shots of Ketel-One vodka, and a delicious strawberry mojito. We waited over an hour until the 'tables' became available. Then we took them like selfish little playground children fighting over sparkly chalk.
Every year SOMETHING happens when I gather a big group of my friends to celebrate my birthday. Last year my skirt ripped all the way up the back, this year I have a cold and lost a fun table reservation (only to gain it later that evening after much bitching.) I guess being a semi-jerk does get you far in life. I should've pushed the wait staff to get us all a free round. I don't think they cared that much to go for it, but I won't be going back there for awhile. Maybe for food in the future, but never again will I celebrate another year alive at that place.
That's right, I am another year alive in the not-so-fast-lane. Two close friends of mine recently became engaged, and I have two weddings coming up. One in my May for my childhood buddy Emily and her fiancee Jason, and I am a bridesmaid to my college friend- Amanda's wedding in July. I am ecstatically happy for my friends. All of them. I am overcome with joy at the fact they found someone to spend the rest of their lives with. There is a tinge of sadness here though, as all single folks much like myself sometimes experience. It's the knowledge that your friendship with said individuals is about to change. Yes, when a friend moves from singledom to 'taken'-dom your time together (especially in the honeymoon phase) lessens over time. Instead of hanging out maybe every two weeks, it becomes a month, two months, three months, and for some can even escalate up to a year.
I know everyone gets busy with a significant other, but what about the single folks swimming through the sea of disastrous dates and failed relationships? I am left congratulating everyone on a job well done in love, when I am looking for it (eventually) myself. I am so cynical and closed off these days, I am going to just 'wait and see' what the hell happens. They say if you aren't looking it will find you. I don't believe that. The universe doesn't always give a crap or play in your favor. Sometimes you have to go out there, outside of your comfort zone, and talk to the opposite sex. Lo and behold, what a concept! Recently, I have been doing that- and I did meet someone I am fond of (more like a crush folks don't get all sappy on me) but we shall see what happens with that. I don't chase men. That is unbecoming and strange.
Let's get one thing straight though, I actually like being single. I know, who says that? I've had friends gasp at me and ask 'what? you want to be single in your 30's?!?!' like it's some cursed age. Like by the time I turn 30 I will dry up and fart dust at the thought of a relationship. I want to fart at the thought of a relationship as is, but for different reasons. There is nothing wrong with being single and figuring out what you want, what you need, and most importantly-who you are. 'Know thyself.' That's what I've been doing for the last 11 months, and I plan to keep it up.
It isn't healthy to be that person that jumps from relationship to relationship. Get to know yourself first, before you dive in and combine lives with somebody else. Give yourself a break after a 'break-up' and allow the wounds to heal. It doesn't matter how long it takes you, everybody is different for crying out loud. Just do it. I often worry for friends of mine that haven't 'dated around' like I have. I hope they are making the right decisions with these men, and I want to see my friends celebrate 40th and 50th wedding anniversaries. That is what I wish for them above anything else. Not the fairy tale crap. But, the real deal. A true relationship with someone else.
I guess that's all I feel like saying right now.
I'm in the slow lane and it's exactly where I need to be.
We out.
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