I hate how

I hate how I think of you in moments of silence
You shouldn't be there
creeping
crawling
around in my head
filling each crevice
with those memories
that flash forward
and backward
and forward
and backward again
like the bright, neon, blue lights
after the camera flashes
my thoughts into

nothing

I just hate how you were once here
and now, you're not
you faded away
like you're supposed to
like time says you have to
so my heart tells me so

I am over it

I am over putting myself out on that thin limb
between madness and sanity
that some call love

I am not meant to fall in
be in
or accept LOVE

Because it does not accept me

LOVE IS LIKE A SHIT STEAMED STEW
that's how little I hate you

not really
not at all
just the heartstrings
pulling

on
my conscience
good bye silence of the mind

How, I long for you